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December 3, 1999/24 Kislev 5760, Vol. 52, No.14
Celebrating Hanukkah means creating memories
RABBI CHERIE KOLLER-FOX
Special to Jewish News
When our children were small, they would look forward to Hanukkah each year. They loved the candles and food and, of course, the presents.
Soon, they were rushing through the candles to get to the presents and had no patience to sing songs or even play dreidel. The present orgy got quickly out of control with three children and eight days, not to mention grandparents, gift exchanges and the like.
What inevitably happened was that the main evening, which started out with great excitement and anticipation, often ended badly. A toy would break, or someone would get something that someone else had wanted, and the tears would begin to flow. It simply wasn't fun or in the spirit of the holiday. We decided we'd had enough.
Some years ago, we sat down with the children before the holiday and made a list with them of how we wanted to celebrate each night. Over the past decade, we have had wonderful Hanukkah celebrations and have created traditions that are now part of our family rituals.
Here are eight of our favorite Hanukkah happenings:
- We build a big fire in the fireplace and invite friends over whose children are our children's friends. Then we plan a fun activity.
One year, our children each got to make and eat a pie of their own design. Another year, we covered the tables and had "Art Night." The children painted murals and made figures out of clay. Now that they are teens, our kids get together and make a dinner for their friends.
- We invite friends over who play instruments and who like to sing for "Music Night." We spend the evening singing, playing dreidel games and eating potato pancakes.
- We devote one night, "Tzedakkah (Charity) Night," to do something for others. When the children were small, we bought gifts to donate to a Christmas toy campaign or sent money to the Jerusalem Post Toy Fund. Now that they are older, we can serve dinner at a shelter or work at a food bank. These outings might be combined with another favorite, "Movie Night," when the whole family goes to the movies together.
- On "Big Present Night," we give each child one big present.
- When they were younger, we would buy each child a storybook and spend "Book Night" reading the books out loud and telling Hanukkah stories. Now, we buy the family a video we've all been wanting or a piece of software.
- We pick a cultural event, such as a concert or a play, that we would like to attend as a family.
- On "Grandparents Night," we give the children the presents that came in the mail and get on the phone and talk to their grandparents and their cousins scattered around the country.
- "Homemade Presents Night" is definitely our favorite night and has been consistently on our list from the beginning. We draw lots to decide who will make a present for which family member. These presents are always treasured, no matter how simple or elaborate. My husband still keeps the bills in a box that our son decorated for that purpose when he was 5.
The year our daughter became bat mitzvah, her older brother created a plaque with her invitation and pictures on it. My son designed a menorah in the shape of a cat for his cousin who loves cats. My husband made comedy/tragedy masks out of paper mache for our son, the thespian.
Lately, we have enjoyed creating elaborate Hanukkah decorations for our home, both inside and out.
Long after store-bought presents have been broken or forgotten, our memories of family time at Hanukkah remain.
Cherie Koller-Fox is the rabbi of Congregation Eitz Chayim in Cambridge, Mass. She is a founder of the Coalition for the Advancement of Jewish Education. Koller-Fox wrote this article for Jewish Family & Life!, the online magazine at www.jewishfamily.com. It was distributed by Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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