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November 19, 1999/10 Kislev 5760, Vol. 52, No.12
Stiller 'softy' in real life
DEBRA WALLACE
Jewish Telegraphic Agency
As the irascible Frank Costanza on "Seinfeld" from 1993 to 1998, Jerry Stiller, in a barking voice, would demand that his TV son, George, and the other characters around him, accede to his demands.
In real life, Stiller's wife and other family members say Stiller is quiet, low-key and more of a pussycat than a bulldog.
"He's a softy," reveals his wife, actress and playwright Anne Meara. "He doesn't shout at home or throw fits like his TV characters."
Stiller is the patriarch of a family of entertainers. Along with Meara, he has been amusing audiences for five decades, and now the legacy continues with their talented son, Ben, and daughter, Amy.
Jerry Stiller won several awards for his portrayal of Costanza. When "Seinfeld" ended last year, Stiller figured he would go back to New York and create an autobiographical one-man show, which he still plans to do.
"My show," Stiller explains, "would include stories about working with Anne, ... being on the road, playing nightclubs, 'The Ed Sullivan Show,' how Amy and Ben traveled with us, and what it's like to be a dad, a mom and a theater person at the same time." Stiller has also been working on an autobiography.
"The key to the book," he says "is telling the story of a kid who wanted to be an actor, coming out of the Lower East Side of New York, and idolizing the Marx Brothers, Jack Benny, Fred Allen, Eddie Cantor, and how I performed a dream, so to speak, in my own way."
But his one-man show and book deal have taken a back seat to the television world he loves. Last season, he moved into a new role as the meddling father-in-law Arthur Spooner on the new CBS show "King of Queens."
In the sitcom which debuted last fall, Stiller plays a recent widower who moves in with his son-in-law, Doug Heffernan (Kevin James), and daughter, Carrie (Leah Remini).
"From the first day on the set, everybody treated me like the Dalai Lama of comedy, the cast and the producers kept encouraging one another, the writing became more intriguing, and it became less of a job and more about the fun of acting," Stiller says.
Finding meaning in acting is nothing new for Stiller or his wife. Stiller and Meara is the name of a legendary comedy duo who started out in the early 1960s in the Compass Players in Chicago and later became Second City. They went on to perform their shtick in every nightclub in the United States and appeared a record 36 times on "The Ed Sullivan Show." In addition, they starred in numerous Broadway, film, TV and radio roles together and apart.
Stiller's feature film credits include "The Taking of Pelham One Two Three," "Hairspray" and "Airport '75," while Meara received rave reviews for her roles in "Fame," "The Boys From Brazil" and "Awakenings." They never seem to tire of working as a team and performed together in the new Joan Micklin Silver film, "The Fish in the Bathtub."
After 44 years of marriage, many of them working side-by-side, they say they're still in love with each other. Meara confides that she misses her husband when he commutes from their home in Manhattan to the TV studio in Los Angeles where "King of Queens" is taped. They talk on the phone constantly.
"He doesn't like it when we are apart from one another," Meara adds.
While funny business is the family business, an important part of their family bond is Jewish traditions. Meara converted to Judaism early in their marriage, and their children were brought up in a Jewish household.
"We're what you would call Jewish in our feelings about life," Stiller explains. Their children went to Jewish schools and studied Hebrew. Ben Stiller became bar mitzvah.
"Where they take their lives religiously is entirely up to them, of course, but at least they know where Anne and I stand in terms of our background. It was more Anne than anyone else who said, 'I want my kids to be brought up Jewish.' So I had a very wonderful, easy kind of situation. I never asked Anne to convert to Judaism; she did it voluntarily."
Ben Stiller is a film actor and director, and Amy Stiller is a stand-up comedienne and actress who has co-starred with Jerry at several regional theaters and has been a guest star on her father's sitcom.
Jerry Stiller, who also enjoys sharing a short Yiddish song with new friends, took a course in Yiddish in New York several years ago.
"Somehow or another, this wonderful teacher got us in touch with everything that we heard our mothers and our uncles talking about that we never really (understood)."
Since taking the course, Stiller has read some Sholem Aleichem stories in Yiddish for books on tape.
Meara was awarded the 1995 Outer Critics Award for playwrights for her first play, "After-Play." Her second play, "Down the Garden Paths," will have its world premiere in New Brunswick, N.J., on Saturday, Nov. 20.
Jerry Stiller takes great pride in his wife's writing ability. "She has a rare gift," he says proudly.
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