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October 29, 1999/19 Cheshvan 5760, Vol. 52, No.9
OH, BROTHER!
Auxiliary organizations regroup as community needs change
VICKI CABOT
Contributing Editor
Young Israel Sisterhood member Karen Steinway spends a recent Thursday morning in the synagogue's kitchen baking goodies for Saturday morning kiddush.
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Men in the kitchen, and women in the boardroom.
Traditional synagogue auxiliary organizations are responding to contemporary social reality with innovative programming and membership drives aimed at attracting younger members.
Changing roles and lifestyles have sparked new initiatives to meet contemporary needs, while retaining the past's focus on service and support.
"The nature of volunteering is changing," says Bernice Balter, executive director of the Women's League for Conservative Judaism, the national organization of Conservative sisterhoods, "and we have to be responsive."
Declining numbers and ascending average member age reflect a national trend, says Balter in a telephone interview from her New York office.
"The peak (for women's volunteering) was 25 years ago," says Balter, "when fewer women were working." The key to the future, she says, is finding new ways "to attract younger women."
Locally, congregational auxiliaries bear out Balter's perception. A recent Sunday afternoon tea at Har Zion Congregation was aimed at increasing membership; 70 women attended, including 28 new members. The group hopes to sustain its 200-plus base. Ann Pshaenich, Har Zion executive director, says sustaining membership in the volunteer organization is tough.
"It is a struggle to get the younger contingent to participate," she says. "They are working or involved in their kids' schools."
Or they are serving on the synagogue board or one of its standing committees, as leadership opportunities beyond sisterhood have opened for women.
"It's a tribute to our success that our women are on the synagogue board," says Balter dryly. "We (provide) a very good training ground."
The competition for members and leaders often places a burden on those who do step forward. Often already juggling work and family responsibilities, they need others to share the work - making telephone calls, arranging for a speaker, planning a fund-raising event. Often that support is missing.
Judy Lamet, immediate past president of Beth El Congregation's Sisterhood, laments, "It boiled down to the same half dozen people doing all the work. You can't run an organization like that."
Finding a time to hold an event presents an even greater challenge. "The younger women can't come during the day, and the older women don't drive at night," says Pshaenich. "It limits the kind of programming we can do successfully."
Lamet reports similar experience at Beth El. "We had two distinct groups," says the working mother of two, "and we were unable to make either group happy."
Jessica Weiss, organizer of the fledgling sisterhood at Young Israel, polled members to determine that Sunday morning meetings seem to appeal to a cross-section of ages. Some 30 women showed up at each of the group's first two get-togethers, an excellent turn-out for the small, 105-member-families congregation.
And while organizers agree that younger members are necessary to ensure continuity of the organizations, older members remain their lifeblood.
Esther Seidberg, who became a sisterhood member 53 years ago as a young bride, recalls with pride the contributions the women's auxiliary has made. A past president of both Beth El and Temple Beth Israel sisterhoods, Seidberg traces her allegiance to the groups back to her mother, who belonged to an Orthodox "ladies auxiliary." Seidberg has a copy of her mother's Manual for Sisterhoods, published in 1947, on her library shelf.
"We did such wonderful things for Beth El," she says. Over the years group members raised money to support a variety of projects, including the national Conservative seminary; made sandwiches for the bingo concession, a synagogue fund-raiser; and furnished all the baked goods for weekly refreshments after services. For years they ran a profitable gift shop, its shelves filled with Judaica, featuring custom b'nai mitzvah and wedding invitations, greeting cards and kippot (skullcaps). The store was staffed entirely by volunteers. Now, sisterhood membership has dipped from more than 300 to just over 100.
Balter says the trend can be reversed with new programming that resonates with younger members. "Women will volunteer if they think it is worthy of their time," she says. "We have to offer substantive things."
She ticks off an inventory of opportunities developed nationally - advanced Jewish study conferences, government affairs committees, public advocacy on women's health issues, and a new young leadership program.
"We are coming up with the programming and then urging (our affiliates) to replicate it locally," she says.
Most exciting, says Balter, is to see projects take root in areas all over the country. "We see women developing skills in remote places (as well as in major cities)," she says.
Taking advantage of electronic communication, the organization's Web site offers a wealth of information and opportunities for involvement. Balter is especially proud of its interactive learning for busy women.
Most important, she says, is finding ways for women to feel that their participation is helping to preserve Jewish life. "What we can tap into is a strong desire to guarantee the Jewish future," says Balter. "This resonates; this is positive."
Introducing innovative programming that can do that requires strong leadership and active membership that local groups often lack.
Crossing gender lines, brotherhoods and men's clubs are experiencing many of the same growing pains as their sister organizations. Temple Emanuel in Tempe disbanded its men's club several years ago. Beth El, too, no longer has a men's group.
"The scope of needs has changed over time," says Emanuel executive director Evan DuBrow. The old formula of Sunday morning get-togethers with lox and bagels and a speaker "doesn't work with men now," he says.
Michael Geller, of the National Federation of Temple Brotherhoods, the umbrella organization of the more than 250 Reform men's clubs across the country, agrees. What men are looking for now, he says, is to connect with other Jewish men in ways that enhance their personal and family lives.
"Men need their own space to share and grow, just like women," he says. The old brotherhood model based on synagogue service is still valid, he says, but it has been amplified to be more responsive to the needs of today's men.
What those needs are, and how best to meet them, has been the subject of intensive NFTB research. The result has been the development of creative programs.
The Men's Health Initiative provides health information and guides on prostate cancer, stress management and heart disease to local affiliates. The Achim Corps develops programs on study and worship, including a model for father/son Bible study. The group's new publication, named Achim (literally "brothers"), with articles on men's health, parenting and spirituality, reflects the new focus.
While Geller readily admits that the shift is part of a concerted effort to attract younger members, the innovations have proven popular with older members as well. "They love the new direction," says Geller. "They feel rejuvenated by it."
Bob Weinstein, a longtime brotherhood member, most recently at Har Zion Congregation, is a case in point. He revels in the service component of brotherhood participation, devoting many hours a week to synagogue projects.
"We build the sukkah (Sukkot booth), run the Purim carnival, make latke (potato pancake) dinners," he says proudly. Too, he has his hand in several educational programs, including classes for seventh grade boys that he co-teaches with Gary Tasky.
He also raises funds for synagogue activities, and he spends Thursday mornings in the Har Zion kitchen, preparing food for Sabbath gatherings. On a recent Sunday morning, he and a few other men worked on a ga-ga court where children can play the traditional Israeli ball game.
While he remains a traditional volunteer, Weinstein also is delighted with the new programming options that provide opportunities for men to share their concerns and feelings.
Har Zion's monthly Dad's Speak program attracts a varied group of fathers, grandfathers and sons. "It's just talking about the problems with kids and how to communicate," he says of the free-flowing sessions facilitated by member David Bach. The objective, he says, is "just to connect."
Opportunities to socialize remain a key selling point for both sisterhoods and brotherhoods.
Weiss says the only women's organization she belonged to in the past was a sorority in college; she started the Young Israel women's group "hoping that the women would become friends. The only time we would see each other was on Shabbos, and people did not know one another," she says.
Group cohesiveness is evolving from shared experience and a shared commitment to provide support for the congregation. A New Year's fund-raiser, upcoming "kitchen shower" and planned Hanukkah dinner are providing opportunities to further the organization's dual purposes. On the drawing board are a new-member welcoming committee and a group of congregants who will visit the sick.
"I've always wanted to be part of developing a Jewish community," says Weiss, who is expecting her first child in December. "I feel that I've helped a lot of people by bringing them together."
Karen Koven, a member of the Har Zion sisterhood who was recently widowed, was moved to get involved this year because of a desire to reconnect with community. "The sisterhood is a very open and welcoming group," she says. "And they do good work."
This year she is volunteering in the synagogue library.
"If you want to do something, there is always a little something to do," she says.
For longtime sisterhood volunteer Seidberg, there always are little and big things that need to be done, and she believes a women's auxiliary must be there to do them.
"I don't know if sisterhood will become extinct," she says, but for now, "some of us still want it - and we will work until we drop."
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