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October 15, 1999/5 Cheshvan 5760, Vol. 52, No. 7
Teenagers funnier after they're gone
RABBI BOB ALPER
Special to Jewish News
A few years ago our family sipped mint tea in the home of a cave dwelling Berber gentleman living in the High Atlas Mountains, a few hours south of Marrakesh, Morocco.
I'm pretty sure that he'd never heard the joke that ends, "And for a Jew, life begins when all the children are out of the house and the dog dies."
Everyone else knows this gem, and there's some real truth in it.
If I ever return to Morocco, I'd like to visit our Berber friend again. I have a joke to tell him, and I bet he'll be able to relate to it. The punchline is, "And for a Berber, life begins when all the children are out of the cave and the goat dies."
My wife and I still adore our pets, but life does change for the better in some respects when the kids are finally out on their own. For one thing, we can begin to view the complex teenage years with some of the humor that hindsight offers.
For instance, I remember:
The time I sat down at the dining room table to find my daughter wearing black pants, black shirt, black lipstick, black eye shadow, and black nail polish. My son sported a scruffy beard and a bandana tied around his head.
"How lovely," I remarked. "I'm dining this evening with Morticia and Willie Nelson."
Our French exchange student, who taught me that teen behavior is, apparently, universal. On his final day with us, he spent all his remaining money, about $250, to purchase a black leather jacket with brass buckles and brass studs all over the thing. Francois showed it to me, and with a huge grin, gleefully predicted, "My parents weeel ATE zis jacket!"
I now realize that parents in every era have felt the angst of raising teenagers. A biblical scholar explained to me something I had never before considered on this point.
"Why was it," he asked, "that Abraham was about to sacrifice Isaac at the age of 12, and not 13?" And then he answered his question with wisdom that shows the link of each generation of parents to the others. "Because at 13," he solemnly intoned, "it wouldn't have been a sacrifice."
Bob Alper is a rabbi and stand-up comedian who lives in Vermont.
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