|
|
February 19, 1999/3 Adar 5759, Vol. 51, No. 21
Recognizing healthy fears should lead to precautions
NANCY P. BRODY, PH.D.
Special to Jewish News
The young woman was already five months pregnant when she came to see me. She said she had been looking forward to becoming a mother, but the disappearance and apparent abduction of 11-year-old Mikelle Biggs, a few houses down from her own, had terrified her.
"How will I be able to keep my child safe when things like this happen?" the young woman asked.
Her fears are understandable. Some fears can be healthy. It is true that we are unable to protect our children from every possibility. However, although parents can never guarantee that bad things will not happen to their children, acknowledging that dangers exist should prompt parents to be more vigilant and careful. Fear becomes problematic when it becomes debilitating - when people dwell on their fear rather than what needs to be done.
The soon-to-be mother was encouraged to think of ways she could minimize the liklihood of something bad happening to her child. She immediately responded by saying that the environment she provides for her child needs to be a safe one.
She said her baby will come home from the hospital in a car seat approved for infants,and all her baby's equipment will be in good repair and will meet accepted standards of safety. She will begin baby-proofing her home now, by making sure cabinets and drawers are secured, and electrical outlets are covered. She will ask her friends and pediatrician for additional suggestions of ways to make sure her home is as safe as possible for her child and will read articles and books on child safety. Finally, she said, she will screen baby sitters and daycare centers carefully, checking references before she trusts her precious child with anyone.
We also discussed a different news story about two 10-year-old deaf girls who went hiking by themselves in the mountains. When they were two hours late getting home, their parents sought help. It turned out that one of the girls had fallen and the other had gotten stuck while trying to help her. They were rescued, although the rescue efforts were impeded because the girls could not hear the helicopters circling above them or the searchers calling out to them.
The young woman I was meeting with said she never would have allowed 10-year-old children to hike by themselves in the mountains, even if they weren't deaf. She understood how important it is to adequately supervise children.
Bad things do happen to good people. All parents can do is provide environments that are as safe as possible, provide adequate supervision, and then hope and pray their kids will be OK.
Nancy Brody, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with offices in Scottsdale.
|
