His stuff, her stuff

Couples must compromise when furnishing first home together
SPECIAL SECTION
WONDERFUL WEDDING

MICHELLE ACKERMAN
Staff writer

It was one of her first nights in her new bedroom and the room was dark, when new bride Rochelle Billeter opened her eyes. A figure seemed to be standing at the foot of the bed.

"Good God," she thought. "He's staring at me!"

Who was "staring" was not her husband, Jeff, but a life-size, cardboard cutout of actor William Shatner as Star Trek's Captain James T. Kirk.

When Rochelle married Jeff on Oct. 4, 1997 and subsequently moved into his house, she became united not only with him, but with all of his possessions and home decorations as well.

"It was a total bachelor pad," she remembers. "Two months before we got married, I came over and there was a kayak in the living room."

Whether a newly married couple is moving into one person's existing place or they are starting out in a new apartment or home together, combining both people's personal items, as well as wedding gifts, can take some compromise, patience, and skill.

"It's difficult when you get two people, from two different families, maybe even two different parts of the country. They have a lot of different stuff, a lot of different tastes," explains Lois Hayden, an interior designer at the Scottsdale Robb & Stucky furniture store.

Rachel Wernick, who married her husband, Elliot, on Oct. 18, 1998, and moved into his condo, agrees it can be somewhat difficult.

"His taste is a little bit different. He just didn't know that you could get new stuff. He was like, 'Well I have this, so what the hell?' But it wasn't suitable for living. The couch was like a one-person couch. It wasn't big enough for both of us to lay on it or sit on it together, and then he had some stuff that was definitely very masculine that I just wanted to change over, have some color. It wasn't hard. We didn't fight or anything. It was just me feeling bad that he had to make so much change."

Elliot agrees that decorating simply isn't worth arguing about.

"Life's too short," he says. "There's so many more important things to deal with than whether that vase looks good in that corner."

Though you can't change the fact that change itself is hard, there are some things you can do to make the transition easier.

Scottsdale designer Joanne Astor advocates starting out by sorting through everything. Hold on to only the very good stuff, the furnishings that are exceptional, unique, or sentimental, she says, and get rid of the rest.

That's what pack-rat Elliot did, and he says that though it was initially hard to get rid of some stuff because he'd had it so long, "when I got rid of it, I was actually glad to have the extra space. ... I finally realized I didn't need my old notes from college anymore."

"Your planning needs to be done before the wedding," Hayden suggests. "It's just extremely difficult setting up a household when you first get married, and you always want it to be wonderful and perfect. So if you can agree on just one thing, perhaps color, you can weave that throughout your home. Like every bride usually has a color scheme for their wedding, try that for your home."

Both designers agree that color is the fastest way to make your home look coordinated. Settle on one color and weave it throughout your selections from room to room. It can be used in the form of throw pillows or slipcovers to pull mismatched furniture together, or in knickknacks to provide balance. Another way to change the look of a room is to paint the walls. But Astor warns, wall paint needs to be a soft color such as taupe, beige, peanut, camel or light blues.

"Tones that are soothing and calming," she explains. "And another softening agent, another very cheap investment, are plants."

What you should invest your money in is quality furniture and art. Though cheap furniture can seem more affordable at first, it can turn into an expensive investment if it falls apart too quickly. Art never goes out of style. Plus, it can be used to incorporate your color scheme, and give a room texture and dimension.

The one thing both designers caution against is following trends.

"There are always going to be trends, just like in fashions. This includes colors. You don't want to invest too heavily into the style/color of that year because then it's going to look dated (later)," explains Hayden.

"The biggest thing is not to be afraid of individuality," says Astor. "Trust your instinct."

But, she continues, if couples feel they need help, many stores offer on-site interior designers as well as seminars on design.

Jennifer and Steven Schwartz, married on May 25, 1997, have enlisted a designer to help them redecorate their new home.

"If we didn't hire a decorator, it would take us three years to buy one piece of furniture," says Jennifer.

A new bedroom set and living room will probably be the couple's first purchases.

"Steven and I would rather wait until we can afford the things we really want because we look at our purchases as a long-term investment."

Like a marriage, creating a home both people are comfortable with takes time, patience and compromise.

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