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January 8, 1999/ 20 Tevet 5759, Vol. 51, No. 15
Family affair
B'nai mitzvah adds dimension to mother, daughter bond
MICHELLE ACKERMAN
Staff Writer
Mother and daughter Miriam (right) and Jessica Libman will jointly celebrate their b'nai mitzvah this Saturday at Temple Beth Sholom in Mesa.
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As they sit next to each other at the table, a deep bond is clearly evidenced between the two: Jessica Libman, 12 (almost 13), with a big smile and headfull of curly hair; and her mom, Miriam, a 42-year-old with friendly eyes and an inviting personality.
In fact, the bond is so strong that mother and daughter are able to share a very special moment this Saturday, Jan. 9. Together, the Mesa residents will become b'nai mitzvah.
They argue briefly - not with anger, but with love and pride.
Miriam: "I don't want to take any of the spotlight off of her; it's her day."
Jessica: "I think it's our day. You've never had a day to share."
Miriam: "You're the one who's 13 - it's time for your bat mitzvah; it's your time, your day, your time to shine in the spotlight."
Jessica: "It should be on both of us because (you) never had a chance to be in the spotlight."
They smile at each other and the story unfolds.
Miriam, who was born in Cuba, was 10 when her family's name was chosen in a lottery that allowed them to leave Cuba. Through the lottery, it was also decided to which country they would be immigrating. (Only three ports were open to Cubans in the mid-1960s - the United States, Venezuela and Mexico.) They were told they were going to the U.S. They were given 48 hours to leave, and allowed to take only a few items of clothing.
Frightened and speaking no English, Miriam's family arrived in Brooklyn, N.Y., where an aunt was already living. It was on her aunt's stoop that 16-year-old Miriam met her future husband.
Casil Libman was also 16 on that fateful evening - and looking very handsome as he pedaled by on his bicycle. Six years later, the couple married. A week after that, they found themselves residents of Arizona.
"He had enrolled in a master's program in solar energy at Arizona State University. We were only supposed to stay a year, but I just fell in love with the sunshine," Miriam explains.
Today, Casil works at Searer Robbins & Stephens, an architectural firm in Phoenix, while Miriam teaches a course through ASU and the Creighton Elementary School District in Phoenix, instructing teachers on how to help students with their reading.
Besides Jessica, they also have a son, David, 14. It was actually because of David that this latest family project came about.
"When he was preparing for his bar mitzvah, I tried to help him, but I felt bad because I didn't know a lot of Hebrew. I felt bad that I couldn't help," Miriam explains. While Casil had become a bar mitzvah in his youth, Miriam had not become a bat mitzvah. So she enrolled in a Hebrew-language course through the Valley's Bureau of Jewish Education.
Casil then began encouraging his wife to take advantage of her newfound knowledge and become a bat mitzvah. Jessica also encouraged her, and even wanted to share her own special day with her mother.
"First of all, I didn't even want to do it all by myself. I thought it would be cool if my mom shares it," says Jessica.
Though hesitant about stealing her daughter's thunder at first, Miriam now believes she's made a good choice.
Jessica agrees, saying "I got to spend more time with her, and I learned more about her. I'm (also very) proud that my mom could actually learn all that Hebrew."
Not that it was easy. Laughing, they both say it was a bit rough in the beginning. But while the work was hard, David, a recent bar mitzvah, was there to help them, and Casil was there to encourage them as well.
"It really was a family affair," says Miriam.
Miriam and Jessica both studied for the big event at Temple Beth Sholom in Mesa, and Jessica was called on in class to sing one of the prayers. "She's got a beautiful voice," injects Miriam proudly. When Jessica was done singing, a boy in the class piped, "That was so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes."
Miriam admits that, at first, it was a little strange to be part of a group of 11-year-olds, but says, "The students, the kids, were really accepting of me. We all learned together; we all stumbled together."
Now that the big day is upon them, they both realize they share a few more things: nervousness, some fear and excitement. Still, Miriam can't wait:
"To see my father there, to have him hand my tallis (prayer shawl) to me, means the world to me. ... I'm absolutely, deeply, deeply honored that my daughter allowed me to share this day with her. I feel blessed that I have a family that is as wonderful as ours, a family who cares as much about each other as ours, a husband I adore and who adores me, and a job that I love."
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