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December 11, 1998/ 22 Kislev 5759, Vol. 51, No. 12
For the holiday, help kids see life through Jewish lens
YOSEF ABRAMOWITZ
Special to Jewish News
Now that Thanksgiving has passed, the colorful lights of Christmas have taken over America, like stars on a clear, dark night. So my girls are getting an early Hanukkah present this year: cardboard glasses with refracting, dark plastic lenses. When they peer through the glasses, which look like the old 3-D frames, each point of light is transformed into a Jewish star. So a Christmas tree in the park becomes a tower of colorful Jewish stars.
Helping our children see the world through a Jewish lens is a wonderful gift to give this holiday season. The challenge is how to make sure they continue to see the world this way, even after the Jewish star glasses are removed. Their real lens into the world, and how to balance one's Jewish identity during this season, is how we, the parents, process the everyday. And how we react to Christmas.
I suspect that the Jewish parents who are most threatened by all the Christmas hoopla are those who are lacking a strong Jewish identity and base of knowledge. Parents who find that they are not equipped to deal with Jewish spiritual questions should take the opportunity this season to empower themselves religiously, starting with Hanukkah celebrations and then moving on to the Sabbath. A family that joyfully celebrates Sabbath each week is less likely to feel overwhelmed by the annual blizzard of Christmas promotions.
The other way to insulate your family from the Christmas blitz is to consciously reject the commercialization of the season. Here are some tips to help:
Double chai - The average U.S. family will spend $813 on gifts this winter. By capping our own spending at $36 per person, we can acknowledge the gift-giving season without going too commercial. It will also model for your children restraint and financial planning.
Love, love, love - What our children really want, especially if they are young, is more fun family time. We need to weaken the societal link between love and big presents. Try to come home early every night of Hanukkah for candle lighting, cooking, stories and games.
Tzedakkah (charity) - Bring your children to a toy store, and give them a budget to buy two toys for a children's shelter. Also give your children money for tzedakkah and help them pick appropriate causes. By helping the less fortunate, children better understand the many blessings in their lives.
Enjoy the lights - Our daughters love the galaxies of colorful lights that appear in the evening. Appreciate beauty wherever you see it, whether in a pine tree or in a snow-covered field. Just because the lights are not Jewish lights does not mean they pose a spiritual threat. And for a special treat, go to your local Jewish bookstore and ask for the Jewish star glasses.
Blackout - During the month of December, we place more limits on the amount of television we allow our children to watch because of the endless Christmas commercials, references and shows. December is the month when we introduce more Jewish videos (check out the "Alef, Bet...Blastoff!" series) and audio tapes (David Paskin is hot right now) and keep the TV and radio off.
Food - Yes, latkes and many creative recipes are available from www.JFood.
com. But the Maccabees did not eat latkes. The wok could be a new symbol of Hanukkah, and Jews should innovate far more by cooking with oil.
Most importantly, celebrating Hanukkah should not be done in a spiritual vacuum. When I ask Aliza, my eldest, if she would like to celebrate Christmas, she answers very proudly "no." And then she sometimes gives me a lecture about those poor Christians who only have one or two big holidays, while Jews are blessed to have so many holidays and a weekly Shabbat!
The new American Jewish miracle during our festival of lights is that we can observe and appreciate other lights without being a nervous minority or feeling spiritually inadequate. And we can be a light to others by reversing the commercialization that has corrupted the celebration of the birthday of a Jewish boy who radically preached the need to return to spirituality.
Yosef Abramowitz is the publisher of www.Interfaith
Family.com, a new magazine on the World Wide Web, and of Sh'ma, the Jewish community's leading intellectual journal. Other relevant holiday information is available at JFLHanukkah.com.
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