Partners at home... and on the jobClergy couple shares fulfilling life at SolelRANDI BAROCAS
Some might say Alan and Julie Berlin were beshert, meant to be. |
 Rabbi Alan and Cantor Julie Berlin pose with their young son, Daniel, for a family portrait taken this past spring. |
Yet despite what Alan Berlin refers to as their "parallel lives," he and Julie Neer (her maiden name) didn't formally meet until his senior year in college at the University of Illinois, when a mutual friend introduced them.
The cantor says the meeting came so late because her husband is two years older than her, and that they ran in different circles when they were younger. Once the introduction occurred, however, it didn't take long for the couple to start dating. They were married in May 1994 at their childhood congregation, Temple Anshe Sholom in Olympia Fields, Ill.
The nuptials came between the couple's third and fourth year of rabbinical and cantorial school, they say, explaining that Alan Berlin's two-year break from school after graduating college enabled them to enter HUC-JIR together.
And while it may appear that the two influenced each other's decisions to attend Hebrew Union College in New York, Alan Berlin says it was something he was considering for a long time.
"We really tried to make our decisions independent of one another, and I think we did," the rabbi says. "Certainly we influenced one another, but in the end, they were individual decisions."
Their positions at Temple Solel in Paradise Valley mark their first professional jobs. Alan Berlin was hired as assistant rabbi in July 1997. Julie Berlin, who has worked at the temple as a teacher in both the religious school and the Solel School since then, was hired as the congregation's first "invested" cantor in July of this year. ("Invested" is to cantor, as "ordained" is to rabbi, Julie Berlin says.)
It's a good thing the two are accustomed to each other, because now they not only live together and parent together
Despite that extremely close-knit relationship, they say there is nothing strange about working as a clergy couple at the same congregation.
"We enjoy each other's company and that goes from work to home," says the 30-year-old rabbi. "But sometimes it's hard to draw that line between work and home. We'll find ourselves at home discussing work at temple.
"I guess the thing I enjoy most (about working with my wife) is that No. 1, I enjoy spending time with her," the rabbi continues. "I think we complement each other well professionally. I enjoy co-teaching with her. I enjoy leading services with her. And personally, having her as my cantor, I find very spiritually fulfilling.
"On the other hand," he adds, "she's also a colleague. So if I need collegial advice, she is someone who I can turn to whose opinion I respect."
The cantor says working with her husband has been nice because she gets to see him more often than most rabbis' wives see their husbands. "It makes us even more of a team," says the 29-year-old. "Yet even though we are working in the same place, it's not like we are always together. We have our own responsibilities."
Indeed they do. Rabbi Berlin is called upon to share in the rabbinical duties with senior Rabbi Maynard Bell. That includes officiating at Sabbath and holiday services and life-cycle events, counseling congregants and teaching a variety of educational classes at the temple.
Cantor Berlin maintains her teaching positions in both the religious and Solel schools, but she also does b'nai mitzvah tutoring. One of her major roles is singing at all Sabbath and holiday services. It's that particular duty that brings her in most contact with her husband at work, she says.
One drawback to the Berlins' seemingly perfect lifestyle is that their professional responsibilities prevent them from attending services with their own children as regular congregants, they say.
"We use sitters a lot. It's a challenge," says the rabbi. "I find one of the most difficult things is that I would love to participate in all of the activities with my children here at the temple, and that's difficult to do when I am leading them. I would love to be able to sit with my family during services, every Shabbat or during the High Holidays, but I can't do that."
"I guess the hardest part about it is making sure we have time to spend with our kids so they don't feel deprived," Julie Berlin says. "Balancing family and career is hard."
Difficult as it may be at times, the couple say they feel fortunate to work for a temple that is so supportive of them and their work. And according to Temple Solel's president, Lee Harris, the congregants are thrilled to have the Berlins.
"When Julie arrived with her husband, Rabbi Alan Berlin, we soon began to realize she was highly qualified to be a cantor, and estimated that she would fit into our temple staff really well," Harris says. "She was hired strictly on her merit. ... And in my opinion, she has an absolutely beautiful voice.
"(The congregation) is very comfortable because of their good nature," Harris adds. "Frankly, I have only heard good things about both of them."
