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Disney film sends dangerous message
NANCY P. BRODY, PH.D.
Special to Jewish News
The remake of "The Parent Trap" is expected to be a huge summer hit, but I shudder to think about the effect it could have on some children.
In case you don't remember the original movie starring Hayley Mills, here is a summary of the story line: Parents of identical twin girls get divorced when the girls are babies, and each parent is given sole custody of one of the twins. Each child is raised never knowing she has a twin sister. When they are preteens and coincidentally attend the same summer camp, the twins discover each other and then plot to get their parents back together. The twins not only succeed ultimately in getting their parents back together, but they even manage to get rid of the other woman their father was about to marry.
When the original movie was released, divorce was not as common as it is today, and not as much was known about the effects of divorce on children. Today, the people at the Walt Disney Co. should know better than to present a movie that encourages children to believe they have control over situations over which they do not and should not have control, and that reinforces the unrealistic hopes some children of divorce have of their parents reuniting.
Children of divorce often think they were the cause of divorce, but even that thought is generally second to hoping their parents will get back together. Some children intentionally get into a great deal of trouble, thinking both parents will be needed to deal with their bad behavior, and that this will lead their parents to get back together. Other children try to be very good, hoping that if they are perfect children, their parents will want to get back together. Still others, like the twins in the movie, devise complicated schemes to reunite their parents.
A 12-year-old boy was referred to me by a medical doctor because the child had been suffering with a physical complaint for many months, and even though numerous medical tests had been performed to diagnose the cause, no physical reason for the symptom could be found. It turned out that neither was this a case of a psychosomatic symptom, in which a real physiological symptom has its cause in an emotional difficulty; this boy was forcing himself to have this symptom on purpose.
In dealing with several specialists, attending meetings at school to arrange accommodations for him, and even coming to see me, the boy got to be in the same room with both of his biological parents. All he wanted to do was reunite his parents. This was an extreme case, but some children are equally determined to get their parents back together. Seeing "The Parent Trap," some children of divorce may even begin to blame themselves for failing to get their parents back together.
Parents of children who see the film need to be prepared to discuss this movie with their children and to mitigate the damaging messages it sends.
A better ending for this movie would be for the twins' parents to explain that they understand how much the girls would like them to remarry, but that it is just not possible. The parents could agree to move closer to each other, perhaps even into the same neighborhood. The twins could spend time together, and each could have regular visits with her non-custodial parent.
This would still be a happy ending, in that the girls would be reunited with other members of their family, but the parents would remain divorced. Ending the movie in this way would have been helpful in children's acceptance of divorce, instead of detrimental to their coping with it.
Nancy P. Brody, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with offices in Scottsdale.
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