Rabbi on the spotPerson officiating among last details fielded by frenzied wedding plannersRABBI BOB ALPER
|
 Rabbi Bob Alper |
"Have we forgotten anything for the wedding? Oh, yeah
Call me cynical. Call me sardonic. But call me truthful, too, because I happen to know that this discussion goes on more often than we'd like to think it does.
For a rabbi, few satisfactions equal the opportunity to officiate at the wedding of a young man or woman we've known throughout the years of their growing. But during the last few decades, for better or for worse, we Jews have resumed our nomadic ways, moving from city to city where we strike, and then pull up, shallow roots. Rabbis included. Add to that the high number of people who are not affiliated with a synagogue, plus those who choose a "neutral" place far from anybody's hometown for their ceremony, and the dilemma of finding a rabbi becomes more understandable.
Every clergyperson has a trove of nuptial stories. Mine include this one:
"Rabbi, can you officiate at my wedding? It will be held on May 13th at 1:30 p.m."
"Gosh, I'd love to, but I've already scheduled a wedding for 1 p.m. that day."
"What?! You mean that I'm being REJECTED by JUDAISM?"
Most of the wedding calls from strangers begin in the exact same way. And generally the people are sweet, polite, and appreciative of whatever help I can offer, whether it is ultimately officiating, or making a referral to a colleague. Sometimes, though, just to keep things lively, I can't help doing a little kidding:
Caller: "Rabbi, my daughter would like to marry a young accountant from Cleveland."
Me: "Wonderful. Um
Through all the years, nothing has really surprised me. Maybe that's because I was well-prepared, thanks to the guidance I received from an older colleague who shared two incidents from his long and distinguished career.
"Hello, rabbi," his caller began. "You don't know me, but I feel as if I know you very well. I have friends who are members of your synagogue, and have heard just the most glowing comments about you. Our family has discussed it at great length, and we've decided that you would be our first choice to officiate at our daughter's wedding. I hope you're available on Saturday evening, June 24th
"I'm afraid I can't. I'll be attending the annual convention of my rabbinic organization."
"Oh, I'm so disappointed. What are we going to do? It seems as if every rabbi in town will be attending that convention
The second story may sound vaguely similar. Just a different ending.
"Hello, rabbi," this caller began. "You don't know me, but I feel as if I know you very well. I have friends who are members of your synagogue, and have heard just the most glowing comments about you. Our family has discussed it at great length, and we've decided that you would be our first choice to officiate at our daughter's wedding. I hope you're available on Saturday evening, June 17th
"Let me check my calendar. Why, sure, that date looks clear. I'd be happy to meet with the couple and discuss the possibilities."
"That's wonderful. I'm so delighted that you'll be able to officiate! I'll have them call you tomorrow. And
Rabbi Bob Alper, who writes from Vermont, is a stand-up comic and author of "Life Doesn't Get Any Better Than This."
