Traditional Jewish symbols, rituals reflect sanctity of marriage
STEFANIE L. PEARSON
Assistant Editor
There's only one point in Genesis at which God pronounces his creation "lo tov," not good - when Adam existed unmarried, alone.
God's creation of Eve "shows us that the true state of a human being is when they're married," says Rabbi Chaim Silver, spiritual leader of Young Israel of Phoenix, an Orthodox congregation. "It's the most productive and meaningful state possible."
The Hebrew word for marriage, kiddushin, means to make holy or sanctify, or to set aside, and the rituals in the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony reflect that, he says. The public ritual that has developed around Jewish marriage, says Silver, is imbued with aspects that reflect "the creation of a holy bond between the (bride and groom). She is set aside for him, and he for her."
Just as the Passover seder plate offers "practical reminders" of the holiday's meaning, the rituals of Jewish marriage represent the particular aspects of marrying, says Rabbi David Rebibo of the Orthodox Beth Joseph Congregation.
A new beginning
Jewish law requires little in the way of official ceremonies, and doesn't even require the presence of a rabbi or other clergyman at a wedding. Rather, Halachah, Jewish law, requires only that two witnesses who meet certain criteria be present.
The wedding ceremony itself often takes places outdoors under a chuppah (bridal canopy), usually a cloth covering held aloft by four poles, which symbolizes the home the couple builds together. The tradition of being married under the open sky says that "our home is subject to nature" and stresses the couple's faith in God's protection, Rebibo says.
The bride is the last to join the wedding party under the chuppah. As she does, she walks in a circle around the groom seven times.
"He is now the center of her world and vice versa," says Rebibo.
"Made in Heaven," a traditional Jewish wedding guide by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, notes that the circling symbolizes the seven revolutions the earth made during the seven days of creation.
The rabbi then recites the blessing over the wine and the Birkat Erusin (prenuptial blessing), after which the bride and groom drink from the wine.
The groom recites "Haray at mekudeshet li betaba'at zu kedat Moshe v'Yisrael" ("Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel") and places the ring on the bride's finger . The ketubah (marriage contract) is then read.
Exchanging vows - what many Americans picture when they think of a wedding ceremony - is not a Jewish tradition.
"We don't take vows. There's no such thing in Judaism," Silver explains. "It's holiness that bonds them."
A blessing on your house
The Sheva Brachot, seven blessings, are then recited (see box). According to custom, these may be read by the rabbi, or the reading role may be given as an honor to attendees.
Following the reading, the couple drinks a second cup of wine. The groom then smashes a wine glass. The smashing of the glass recalls the destruction of the Beit Ha'migdash, the temple in Jerusalem.
"A simcha is different from a party. There are two elements - there's celebration, but there's also a spiritual aspect," Rebibo says. "We are saying that no simcha is complete without thinking of our temple, of its holiness and role. And as we build another Jewish home, we recall its destruction."
Usually greeted by a chorus of "Mazel Tovs" and joyous singing, the couple is quickly escorted to a private room for the yihud, a short period of time for them to be alone together.
Contrary to popular belief, the yihud does not call for the consummation of the marriage, Rebibo says. Rather, it is a moment for the couple to have a few private moments to be totally focused on one another as they begin their life together. Later, they join the celebratory dinner - the first of six.
Tradition states that the bride and groom are to be feted for seven days. Traditional wedding celebrations carry on for a week. Each night, another festive dinner, often hosted by a relative or close friend, is held in the couple's honor.
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