Unique times call for creative solutions
BONNIE BARNESS
Special to Jewish News
As a trainer within organizations and companies and as a speaker at conferences on work-related issues, I have the opportunity to address issues of concern to owners, managers and professional women and men. No matter what field people are in, one of the greatest challenges they all face today is how to balance work responsibilities with personal needs. We are living in unique times that require us to "think out of the box" in order to find answers. More and more people today are doing just that and have found the balance they had been searching for. By sharing with you their creative solutions, my hope is that you find the inspiration to create your own. Here are their stories.
Rebecca, 45, a single mother of two, has been a partner in the family business for the past 20 years. Because of her need to spend more time with her kids and to have energy for other things besides work, she and her parents decided to sell the business to a competitor who had been interested for some time. The terms of the agreement included that she work a specific number of hours a week for a salary and that her parents stay on as consultants. Presently, she has put her house up for sale and plans to move to a location where she can get a home of a comparable size with a significantly lower mortgage payment. Rebecca has chosen to make less money and let someone else do most of the worrying in exchange for a life that more truly reflects her present-day values.
David and Beth, now in their mid-30s, met each other while working for the same architectural firm. They dated, got married and had two children. David's dream was to start his own company. Beth took on extra clients while David assumed more household and parental responsibilities as he pursued this goal. After some time, Beth was asked by her firm to become a partner. David's business was doing well, and she wanted more time with her family. She turned down the offer while at the same time renegotiating her contract in order to work fewer hours for slightly higher pay. The partners of the firm valued her contribution enough to find a workable arrangement both for themselves and for Beth. Throughout the course of their marriage, Beth and David found a way of dividing the household and parental responsibilities in a manner that allowed both of them to achieve their individual and mutual goals.
Matt, 28, was working for a Fortune 500 company when his mother became ill and had to go in for surgery. He wanted to be with her but was concerned about taking time off in order to travel out of state. He spoke with his manager about his situation; his manager told him to take as much time as needed and assured him that his job was secure. Matt was still concerned but decided that he had to be with his mother during her time of need, no matter what the consequence. He flew out to be with her, checked in regularly with his manager, returned after five days and proceeded to travel back and forth for a period of four months. The manager stayed true to his word. Today, Matt is the youngest vice president in the company's history. The manager valued the qualities of integrity and loyalty that Matt had displayed not only in his professional life but in his personal life as well.
Times are changing. Many companies and organizations are realizing this and are making the necessary adjustments to keep employees that they value. Women and men are making changes within their relationships as well.
Scott and Jill have done just that. Jill is an at-home mom of three and Scott, her husband, goes to work at the crack of dawn every day in order to come home early enough to help the kids with their homework and other activities. More often than he liked to admit, he found himself being irritable and impatient with them as well as with his wife, and Jill felt that a distance had come between her and Scott. They both realized that the life they were leading was taking a toll on their relationship and decided to make some important changes. Scott started going to the gym or for a massage before coming home from work. He found that these activities allowed him to release some of the stress and exhaustion of the day, so that he was better able to enjoy his family. He and Jill began going out once a week for dinner and a movie and taking monthly overnight trips in order to get away from all the familial responsibilities and have time to fill the needs that were going unmet during the course of their daily lives.
Unique times require creative solutions. It is up to you find the ones that best fit your particular situation. Take some time to reflect on the life you want to create, and you'll be amazed at the new options that present themselves once you begin making your well-being a priority.
Bonnie Barness is an executive coach, mediator, speaker and trainer. Contact her at BonnieBarness@yahoo.com.
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