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April 22, 2005/Nisan 13 5765, Volume 57, No. 34
Creating the next chapter in life
BONNIE BARNESS
Ask Bonnie
Dear Bonnie:
I'm an unaffiliated Jew who doesn't live near any other Jews, and I don't know where to go to meet others like myself. I didn't know the Valley set up when I moved here. I can't afford to move farther north, and though Sun City is nearby, I'm under 50 years old and not yet retired. I am having a difficult time making friends ... and I have tried. Work just doesn't cut it. My kids are grown and have left home. I feel alone, and the feelings are overwhelming. Any suggestions?
La Nae
Dear La Nae,
Don't despair. It is natural to feel lonely, given your present circumstances. I applaud your efforts up to this point and am sure that once you get more active in the Jewish community, you will begin to feel a lot better.
You expressed an interest in meeting other Jewish people. There are many ways you can go about this. First, you might want to go "synagogue hunting." Look for a synagogue that has an active congregation. Find out if the temple has chavurot, committees and clubs that are of interest to you. Inquire into the various transportation options. Once you have joined the temple of your choice, begin going to Shabbat services every Friday night or Saturday morning. Judaism is a religion that is based on community. Becoming an active member of a temple will help alleviate your loneliness and will provide you with a wonderful sense of belonging.
Another great way to meet other Jewish people is by becoming involved in some of the organizations here in the Valley. Very special friendships develop when people work together toward a common goal, especially when that goal is to help the Jewish people.
Lastly, you might want to look into the wide variety of classes and activities offered in the Valley. Now that your children are grown, you have the freedom to pursue your various interests.
La Nae, you are in the process of creating the next chapter in your life. By becoming more involved in the Jewish community, you ensure that it will be one filled with fun, a sense of purpose and a lot of new friends.
Psychotherapist Bonnie Barness is the author of the workbook "Finding The Balance ... A Guide to Sane Living." E-mail BonnieBarness@yahoo.com.
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