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April 1, 2005/Adar II 21 5765, Volume 57, No. 31
Bowing out gracefully
DAVE SHERMAN
Creating Connections
One of the questions I'm most often asked is what it takes to start conversations with the people you meet. There are effective elevator speeches, perfect opening lines, intriguing titles for your position, and others. However, I've never addressed one of the biggest problems in the process of creating connections: how do you get yourself out of a long-winded conversation?
The first thing you need to know is that it's OK to end a conversation. People always think that if you end a conversation with people, you will come across as rude. Just because some of the people that you talk to seem to ramble on endlessly does not mean you have to sit there and continue to listen. If you've spent what you feel is a sufficient amount of time with certain people, you can politely end the conversation and move on.
One of the toughest things to learn is what you can say to end those long-winded conversations. Here are a few suggestions I heard from Ron Gibson, a fellow connections expert in Australia:
- "I'm glad we had the chance to talk. Thank you for sharing your ideas. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to say hello to some more people." There are so many reasons why this is a fabulous way to end a conversation. It shows appreciation for the person you were talking to and thanks this person for the information he or she provided you - and it is truthful, because you want to have time to meet other people.
- "If you can excuse me, I want to catch up with Louise before she leaves." Once again, this is a great way to conclude a conversation, but make sure that you do what you say you are going to do. If the person you are talking to sees that you aren't talking to someone else, you could hurt that person's feelings.
The following two exiting statements are the ones I use when I really want to get out of a conversation and none of the other options work.
- "This is a networking event, so I'll leave you be to meet some of the other guests here tonight." I especially like this one because it puts the other person's needs before yours. You are saying that you don't want to monopolize his or her time and that you will bow out gracefully to allow this person to find someone else with whom to talk.
- "Excuse me while I mingle." When all else fails, be totally honest and move on.
Please don't ever forget that you attend events so you can meet and potentially connect with others. While it's not necessary to try to meet everyone, you need to make an effort to meet a sufficient number of people so you can continue to build more connections and possibly grow your business, too.
Dave Sherman is the owner of Connection Pros, a speaking, training and consulting organization. Call 480-860-6100, e-mail dave@connectionpros.com or visit www.connectionpros.com.
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