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March 4, 2005/Adar I 23 5765, Volume 57, No. 27
Spending my 'mommy' years in a minivan
LILA BALTMAN
Special to the Jewish News
For many of us suburban moms living here in the Valley, becoming a mommy and raising children is almost synonymous with another "m" word: minivan.
For two years now, ever since my husband and I finally decided that "it was time" and purchased our Honda Odyssey, our minivan has become not only our primary mode of transportation but our mobile "home away from home."
On any average day, my 2- and 4-year-old sons can be found eating, drinking, sleeping, talking and sometimes singing in their car seats in our minivan. They view their car seats in the same passionate way that Archie Bunker viewed his living room chair. They would be horrified if any other little person dared to sit in their car seat.
Like most suburban families living in the United States today, my children and I rarely walk anywhere together - we drive together. Whether it's to the grocery store, their preschool, a friend's house, the library or the shopping mall, if my sons want to get anywhere, they know they must sit down and buckle up first.
I realize that a large portion of my sons' childhood is going to be spent looking at the back of my head.
And so, in realizing this fact, I have just decided to accept it and embrace it. I have decided to view my car time with the boys as my quality time with them.
Unlike at home, where my boys can often be found chasing and wrestling with one another or climbing on things that were not meant to be climbed on, the car seats in our minivan tend to keep them quiet and contained.
So whenever they are driving me a little crazy at home, I simply scoop them both up and place them in their car seats for a drive around the neighborhood. It not only quiets them down, it calms and quiets me down as well. It is a "time-out" for all of us.
And every so often, when the boys magically fall asleep in their car seats at the same time, I will immediately drive our minivan to my own little oasis in the desert - the drive-thru at Starbucks.
While my sons snooze soundly in the backseat, I can be found sitting blissfully in the front seat, in the parking lot, maybe reading a magazine or a newspaper, and savoring every sip of my tall cafÇ mocha. Oh yes, those drives are my favorite.
But there have also been many times when I have used the same driving trick that parents have been using for generations - driving very far out of my way, slowly and methodically, with soft music playing, trying to get the boys to fall asleep. And, of course, the minute I gently roll the car into our garage, they wake up.
One time when I was driving around and I thought my oldest son had finally fallen asleep in the backseat, he suddenly opened his eyes and said to me, "Mommy, you missed the turn ... come on, I want to get home already!"
I also love to play music in the car, and I smile when I think of the number of children's songs, Broadway show tunes and classic rock 'n' roll songs that my boys have learned from the comfort of their car seats.
My 2-year-old actually loves listening to Barry Manilow's "Copacabana," or as he says, "Copabanana."
And just like a home that has to be cleaned up every few days, my Honda Odyssey has to be cleaned out every few days as well.
At the end of the week, I am amazed at what I find in there - apple juice boxes, old lollipops, socks, shoes, arts and crafts projects, little toys from loot bags, remnants of Happy Meals, and of course, sand - lots and lots of sand from the playground.
And you know what? I may not love the car messes at the end of the week, but I know that one day I will look back on all of these "minivan memories" that I have, and I'll cherish every one.
Yes, my kids will be spending a great deal of their childhood in the backseat of our minivan. But at least I will be along for the ride.
Lila Baltman, a free-lance writer in Phoenix, has two sons, Evan, 4, and Bradley, 2. Contact her at baltman@qwest.net.
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