Finding the balance

During the hustle and bustle of our busy routines, how many of us have stopped for just a moment and wished that we had a little more balance in our lives? During times when we were feeling overwhelmed, stressed and tired, what would we have given to have a little peace and tranquility?

If experiencing more passion and joy is something you want, then you can make it happen. There are specific actions you can take that will help you achieve your heart's desire. To begin with, you must make finding the balance a priority in your life. The next step is to identify the main reason you are feeling out of balance.

For many of us, the number one cause for this is that we are overextended. We are high achievers and believe that with hard work and perseverance, we can "have it all." And the truth is that we do have a lot. But at what price?

The price we pay is steep. We are tired, run-down, irritable, sleep-deprived and just don't have the energy to have much fun. We don't have the time we would like to spend with our family and friends and wonder when things will lighten up and get easier. Though everything looks good from the outside, within ourselves there is a feeling of longing for something more.

To create a life of balance, we must first identify our most important needs and make an honest assessment of our physical, mental, and emotional limitations. Next, we need to look at the previous goals we have set for ourselves and see if their attainment will fill these needs.

Often in the past, we have chosen goals and taken on responsibilities without considering what effect they would have on our overall feeling of happiness. And then we wonder why we are not enjoying our lives as much as we would like to be.

To live a more balanced life, we must begin making choices that are a true reflection of our inner self.

There is an expression, "If you want to get something done, give it to a busy person." There is a tendency in our society to think that we can use every waking moment to be productive, and many of us do.

The reality is that we need to set aside time to rest, to relax and to enjoy unstructured, non-goal-oriented activities in order to give our body and mind time to recharge. The challenge is how to do this, when there isn't any spare time.

To create the change we desire, we will have to make some difficult choices. We can have it all, but not all of the time. We need to prioritize. If our inner wellbeing is important to us, then it is essential that we make time to nurture it.

Take a look at your calendar. Consider the commitments you have made for the upcoming days, weeks, months and year. In order to have more balance in your life, ask yourself what you can realistically put off until a later date, what can be delegated, what is an essential and what can be eliminated. To create more personal fulfillment, what can you add? Start small. Bring in one new activity and watch what a difference it will make.

One of the effects of living out of balance is stress. There are various ways we can deal with it in order to minimize its negative consequences. Since our body gets tense when we are under pressure, any activity that can release this stress is helpful. Exercise and massage are two great examples. Eating nutritious food and drinking lots of water is important too. Just as we need to nourish our body, we need to nourish our mind. When we get our thoughts off of our everyday concerns for a while, we can feel the difference in our overall wellbeing. Reading fiction, listening to music, going to yoga or meditation classes, observing the Sabbath, and playing a musical instrument are some of the ways we can give the mind an opportunity to rejuvenate itself.

There are other ways we can reduce stress as well. Having a support network is great. Talking with friends, relatives, colleagues, professionals and our rabbis can help reinforce the positive changes we are making and can encourage us in our new efforts. Spending time with those we care about and who care about us helps us feel that the adjustments we are making truly are paying off. Getting away to relax and have fun is another way to nourish our inner self and our relationships at the same time.

Finally, having a positive attitude can do wonders in balancing out the stress that comes from our daily challenges. We need to stop worrying about the things we cannot control and focus on what we can. Counting our blessings and never taking them for granted is fundamental to our sense of wellbeing. We need to look at what we have and not at what we don't have.

When you incorporate these concepts and strategies in your everyday life, you will begin to feel more in balance. You will see your reflections in all that you do. Your sense of enthusiasm will grow along with a renewed sense of hope and promise. No longer will you need to tell yourself that some day you will have the chance to enjoy the fruits of your efforts. Finding the balance is about living your dreams today.

Bonnie Barness is a local psychotherapist. Contact her at 480-451-0407 or e-mail BonnieBarness@yahoo.com.

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