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December 10, 2004/Kislev 27 5765, Vol. 57, No.15
The sacred art of listening
JOAN GLAZER FARBER
Parsha Mikeitz/Genesis 41:1-44:17
The image we often have of Joseph is that of a spoiled child who speaks his mind without regard for others, a self-centered and pompous individual. The content of his dreams and the way he reports them to his brothers reflect Joseph's inflated self-worth. Yet we also witness a gradual change in Joseph's personality, beginning soon after his brothers throw him into the pit. Joseph is humbled by his experiences; both the desert dungeon and the Egyptian subterranean prison awaken in Joseph a sense of power and, at the same time, powerlessness. Only by learning from the critical events that trigger these experiences can Joseph change and regain control of his life.
The text hints at two lessons that transform Joseph from a self-absorbed youth into an adult ready to act on behalf of the community. The first lesson is to listen with compassion and understanding; the second is to be humble in the presence of God's wisdom.
Pharaoh acknowledges that Joseph's reputation is based on his ability to interpret dreams. Joseph hears and is then able to tell the meaning. In earlier Bible stories, the emphasis is on Joseph's use of words in the retelling of his own dreams. Now, Joseph must first listen and then choose his words carefully. As an interpreter, Joseph understands that if his explanation is acceptable to Pharaoh, he will be rewarded with the permission to continue his life in freedom. But should Pharaoh reject the meanings, it is back to the pit for Joseph.
When Pharaoh praises Joseph's abilities, Joseph is quick to attribute his interpretation to God's wisdom rather than to his own. The younger Joseph would have taken the kavod, the "honor," on himself and been quick to sing his own praises. Joseph has progressed from the pits of his existence to the heights of his future as a thoughtful adult. He has learned that God is the source of his life and wisdom.
"And Pharaoh said to Joseph, 'I have had a dream, but no one can interpret it. Now I have heard it said of you that for you to hear a dream is to tell its meaning' Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, 'Not I! God will see to Pharaoh's welfare'" (Genesis 41:15-16). Joseph recognizes that it is God who fulfills the dreams and ensures the safety of the people during the famine.
The text does not announce that Joseph is a changed person. Rather, it is through Pharaoh's words and Joseph's response that we understand the changes that have occurred.
Today, we face the same challenges that Joseph encountered. Learning to listen and, by extension, learning to hear and understand are part of the maturation process. There are individuals we tune out, either because we do not think they have anything worthwhile to say or because we are preoccupied with our own thoughts and projects. Sometimes we brush people off without a second thought, or we respond so quickly that our answers have little to do with the rest of the conversation.
Listening requires integrity, the desire to understand and interpret. Most of all, it requires patience. When we listen intently, we hear the nuances and connotations of the words. We also pay attention to the speaker's body language - what is written in his face or in her eyes. Listening and hearing require that we take the time to combine what is said with prior knowledge. Listening combined with hearing entitles us to ask for clarification before rendering an opinion.
Ultimately, Joseph tries to alleviate his brothers' anxiety by attributing the trials he encountered at their hands to acts of God. "God has sent me ahead of you to insure your survival on earth, and to save your lives in an extraordinary deliverance" (Genesis 45:7). Instead of touting his personal success stories or ascribing guilt to his brothers, Joseph turns to God as the source of his knowledge and his role in Pharaoh's court.
May we be given the opportunity to learn how to listen and hear while appreciating the gifts with which we are blessed.
Rabbi Joan Glazer Farber, R.J.E., serves as the assistant director of the Union for Reform Judaism's Department of Lifelong Jewish Learning, and as the director of Adult Learning. Torat Chayim of the URJ is at www.urj.org/torah.
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