Faux mitzvah is faux pas

How do you think the non-Jewish world would react if I threw a faux baptism, just to enjoy the ritual of dunking my head in water, and tossed in a little glass of wine and one of those yummy chewy wafers? I don't have to guess. Blasphemy, sacrilege and heresy are three of the words that come to mind.

And people of other faiths would be justified in their outrage.

Recently I saw a CNBC news report about the latest craze: "The Faux Mitzvah," a trendy event in which boys and girls of traditional bar/bat mitzvah age, but of varying faiths and cul-tures, throw parties costing tens of thousands of dollars and incor-porating reliable standbys of Judaism like slicing the challah and candle-lighting.

This has to be one of the most insulting displays of religious disrespect that has assaulted my senses in a long time. It's not the kids I hold at fault, but the parents who have taken it upon themselves to negate and diminish a sacred rite of my faith to keep up with the Joneses or Jeffersons or Jawalis.

Never mind that the ritual itself has been slightly skewed by fellow Jews to the point where many of these rites of passage have become one-upmanship as to who can rent a bigger hall or get a better band. It sometimes seems less an event for the b'nai mitzvah child and more for the parents, the community and the charade.

I am not aware if the pretenders to the faith pictured on television have started inserting a Haftorah reading into their faux mitzvah events, but can doing so be far behind?

My outrage may alarm many, and I may be taking it to its extreme, but we have seen too much assimilation result in a lessening of the basic tenets of Judaism. It hurts to see people outside our faith further dilute Judaism by not taking our laws and beliefs seriously.

According the Wall Street Journal, one New York father threw a "black mitzvah" party for his daughter to celebrate her African-American culture; his invitation included a disclaimer explaining that he hoped he was not offending anyone.

A few members of the rabbinical community have been quoted as saying they like the concept of a faux mitzvah, believing it exposes people to the joys of Judaism. On the contrary, it overcommercializes a tradition that has already been pushed to the limits of garishness.

I have endured anti-Semitism and discrimination in my lifetime. Along with the sorrow comes the joy of history and the right to celebrate who I am and where I came from. But you can bet I'd hear from someone if I decide to go to my cigar shop, stub out my Cohiba on my forehead and wander out to celebrate Ash Wednesday. And I'd deserve it.

Barry Kluger is managing partner of Kluger Media Group and a local columnist. Contact him at barry@barrykluger.com.

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