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October 8, 2004/Tishri 23 5765, Vol. 57, No. 6
Community mourns Herbert Silberman
JENNIFER GOLDBERG
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 Rabbi Herbert Silberman |
"He had a gift for connecting to human beings and being a friend, and those are the things that we are going to miss," said Rabbi Mark Bisman of Har Zion.
A memorial service for Sil-berman will be held 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 12, at Har Zion.
Silberman was born Aug. 12, 1930, in New York, and was ordained in 1955 at New York's Jacob Joseph Seminary.
Silberman arrived in the Valley in 1977 to serve Beth El Congregation in Phoenix, after holding pulpits in High Point, N.C., and Newington, Conn.
"I was the welcoming committee - well, welcoming person. It was a small community at the time," recalled Rabbi Albert Plotkin. "I went over to call on him, and I said to him, 'You have a great opportunity to do great things here,' and he did."
In his 18-year tenure at Beth El, Silberman impacted the Jewish and non-Jewish community alike. He served as the first Jewish National Fund regional president, was instrumental in the creation of Arizona's first Holocaust memorial and served on the boards of numerous charities, including Jewish Family & Children's Service, Crisis Nursery and St. Mary's Food Bank.
Joni Cohen, program and membership director at Beth El, worked with Silberman for a decade. She said, "I was always touched by Rabbi Silberman's warmth, compassion, menschlichkeit and gentle manner. He was always available when his staff and congregants needed him.
"Our daughters, as well as so many other young adults in this community, still think of Rabbi Silberman as 'their rabbi.' He, along with his wonderful wife Temma, shared our simchas and helped to ease our pain in times of sorrow."
In 1995, the Silbermans left Phoenix for Salisbury, Md., where they served until 1998. Then, they returned to the Valley.
Plotkin said, "I was very saddened by his leaving, but I knew he'd come back. I said to him when he left, 'This isn't good-bye. I'll give you a special dispensation to go on a leave of absence. But I want you to come back.'
"And he did. ... He loved this com-munity. And this community loved him."
Although technically retired, Silberman joined the staff of Har Zion Congregation in Scottsdale, where he per-formed a variety of re-sponsibilities, including leading High Holiday overflow services, teaching adult education classes and tutoring b'nai mitzvah students.
"He was an adviser to me," said Bisman. "I considered him a mentor."
Silberman also taught adult education classes at the Bureau of Jewish Education and the BJE's Melton Mini-School. Melton director Elaine Hirsch cites his "warmth and wonderful demeanor, and his way of engaging people.
"He was the consummate mensch. When you spoke to him, you knew you had his attention. And he was sincere. He really cared about his students."
In February, Har Zion honored the Silbermans at its annual gala. More than 350 people attended the event, according to event chairwoman Cheryl Bochner.
Bochner and her husband Abe had known the Silber-mans for about 20 years, and shared a close friendship with them. She recalled how the weekend before he died, her husband and 9-year-old son Jacob helped Silberman erect a sukkah in his backyard.
"That was on Sunday, and by Tuesday we had gotten a thank-you note from him in the mail. Little things like that never went unnoticed. He never missed a beat," she said.
Bisman and Har Zion Congregation now face the challenge of moving forward without Silberman.
"I think we're all in shock, as his family is in shock," Bisman said. "We have a lot of thinking to do. He played what may on the external side look like a smaller role, but for our institution, he had some major func-tions. And we'll have to sit back and recover and rethink how we do the things that he help-ed us do.
"As one of his students said, 'You can find someone else to teach a class, but it won't be Rabbi Silberman.' He became very important to lots of people in the years that he was here. So it will in that sense be an enormous loss to the things that he helped us build, because he's not here to continue them."
Plotkin says Silberman's best qualities were "his utmost integrity, his honesty, his sincere ability to make us feel great. He was very positive. I never heard any negatives from him. He was always looking on the bright side.
"I take it as a personal loss," he continued. "His wife and he had a beautiful marriage, and he was an exemplar not only of a devoted father and grandfather, but a model for what a good Jewish life should be."
Silberman is survived by his wife of 44 years, Temma; daughter, Debra Abeles of Los Angeles; sons, Ron of Col-chester, Conn., and Steve of Mobile, Ala.; sisters, Judy Margolis of Beverly Hills, Calif., and Edith Wolf of Los Angeles; sisters-in-law, Leah Ginsburg of High Point, N.C., and Pen Ballow of Boynton Beach, Fla; and 12 grand-children. Funeral services were held at B'nai Israel Synagogue in High Point, N.C., with Rabbi Jerome Fox officiating. Arrangements were made by Cumby Family Funeral Services.
Contributions are suggested to Rabbi Herbert Silberman Memorial Fund, c/o Har Zion Congregation, 6140 E. Thunderbird Road, Scottsdale 85254.
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Details
- What: Memorial service for Rabbi Herbert Silberman
- When: 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 12
- Where: Har Zion Congregation, 6140 E. Thunderbird Road, Scottsdale
- Call: 480-991-0720