Pomegranates, anyone?

DANA GREENE

Have you ever wished for a sign?

Of course, if you have that open connection to the heavens, all power to you. However, because most of us don't, what I'm talking about are the telling signs that reveal so much about one's personality. These signs can actually help determine if your date might just play a more significant role in your life. Maybe a sign could help decide if that person has what you're looking for in a mate ... or at least the potential.

For some, these signs are called dating tests. Others call these signs pure indications of someone's personality. Still others believe that if you look closely enough, you'll be able to tell by a date's actions.

That's what the dating test is all about, and both men and women play willingly in the game.

"The pomegranate sits in the fruit bowl waiting to be tasted," says Carolyn, an attractive, blue-eyed brunette in her mid-20s.

One might ask why the fruit isn't being eaten. And why a pomegranate? According to the Midrash, the pomegranate has 613 seeds - corresponding to the number of commandments in the Torah. The crown-like shape of the top is a reason it's associated with Rosh Hashana and it signifies beauty, fertility, joy, love, mitzvot, passion, remembrance, sensuality and study. So it seems acceptable that it would play another role as well.

For Carolyn, it's also a dating test.

"The man who accepts the fruit with a tough reddish rind and seeds enclosed in juicy, red pulp ... You know he's got to be healthy and a bit of an adventurer," she says.

"How so?" I respond.

She says, "Well, the pomegranate happens to be an extremely sensual fruit. Of all the fruits, it's the one that's associated with love, passion, fire and intimacy. A man who loves fruit tends to eat healthy food. At the same time, consuming a pomegranate takes a bit of effort, it's not the common man's everyday snack."

After saying goodbye to Carolyn, I thought a bit more about these so-called revealing signs. If women look for signs, then probably men do as well.

Late one night at a trendy sushi restaurant in San Diego, I was meeting another friend who brought up this same topic. But this time, it was from a male's perspective.

"I was having lunch at a bistro downtown when a couple at the table next to me started ordering. The man became terse with the waitress, even rude," my friend recounts. "If I had been a woman on the date, I'd have learned a lot by watching that encounter," he says.

I asked him what he would have learned.

"I would have learned that this man was impatient, impolite, and lacked compassion," my friend says. "There was no reason for him to act in this way."

I asked him what other signs men use to test women.

"As males, we tend to notice how a woman relates to her father. If she has good relations with dad, then most likely she has a positive attitude towards men in general," he says. "We also look to see how a woman's mother has aged. If the mom looks good, then most likely the daughter will age similarly."

Then I started thinking about other signs, those I had noticed on my own.

Some men are obsessed with cleanliness. How could they possibly cope with children? Not to mention dogs? Brindle certainly isn't messy, but he is an animal after all.

And what about the ticket booth line at the theater?

I can recall being on a date where the man became impatient to purchase the tickets. His demeanor changed from a sweet fellow to that of Mr. Obnoxious. It was a total embarrassment to be in his presence.

So what do we make of these signs? What's their purpose? After all, game playing shouldn't be advocated. But these signs are not about "playing the game." They're about finding the red flags before you get too involved in the relationship.

Other red flags may include: being unable to discuss feelings, unable to show affection, an inability to discuss his/her past, blaming others or events for problems in life, does not respect your time and shows up late with no valid excuse, not trustworthy, too controlling, exhibits anger, inability to commit to relationships, too busy to listen to your concerns, is in a hurry to get married, shows addictive behaviors and has financial issues.

So the next time you're offered a pomegranate, think twice about your response. And remember the seeds are the best part ... juicy and meant to be hand-fed.

Try it - it's a revealing sign for sure.

Dana Greene is a columnist based in San Diego. Contact her at dgreene74@aol.com.

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