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September 3, 2004/Elul 17 5763, Vol. 55, No. 50
'Mommy, I want to have a date night too'
LILA BALTMAN
Special to the Jewish News
Recently, I have been taken out on some of the most wonderful, exciting and memorable dates of my entire life. And I owe it all to my 4-year-old son.
It all started a couple of months ago, when my husband and I were getting ready to enjoy our occasional "date night" together, which in our case is usually the classic "dinner and a movie" combination.
As we were saying goodnight to Evan and our 2-year-old son, Bradley, Evan turned to me and said, "Mommy, when can you and I go out on a date together? I want to have a date night too."
It was the sweetest, most direct pick-up line I had ever received.
And immediately after saying, "Sure, you and I can go out on a date together next week ... I would love that," it dawned on me that we had never called our mother-son outings "dates" before.
Apparently, the word "date" was a brand-new, "grown-up" word that he had recently discovered, and I think he felt he was missing out on something. He obviously wanted to find out what this "date night" thing was all about. Why were Mommy and Daddy always so excited to be having one of those?
So, the following Friday evening, Evan and I made plans to meet in our kitchen at exactly 5:30 p.m. and begin our first "official" date night together. I was so excited - I actually got a little dressed up for the occasion. No Old Navy blue jeans, T-shirt and flip-flops for me that night. Oh no. I was actually going to wear my pretty Ann Taylor blouse with matching pants, and my dressy, low-heeled sandals. I even decided to carry my favorite purse with me for a change, instead of schlepping my usual, enormous diaper bag on my shoulder.
I also helped Evan pick out a handsome outfit and get cleaned up. I wanted him to understand that a date night is something extra-special, and that sometimes you do get a little dressed up.
My husband Rick agreed to arrive home from work a little early so that he and Bradley could also enjoy Friday date night. "After all," Rick said, "Why should you and Evan have all the fun?"
The two of them were planning to have a "dream date" for any 2-year-old - a trip to the McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park, followed by dinner at the Sugar Bowl, an ice cream parlor. Actually, I couldn't tell who was more excited about going - Rick or Bradley.
When I asked Evan where he wanted to go for our date, he said he wanted me to take him to his favorite restaurant in the whole Valley - Jasmine Palace for Chinese food. Followed, of course, by a movie. I'll tell you - it was amazing how one little word, "date" affected my son's behavior that night. Not only did Evan put his napkin on his lap when we sat down, but he was unusually calm, quiet, ate all of his dinner and even worked diligently to color inside all of the lines of the restaurant's little coloring book.
I even noticed that Evan seemed to be walking a little taller than usual. He looked so happy and proud to be out with his Mommy on our first date. And I, of course, could not have been happier.
The next day, I thought about how special the word "date" can be for a young child. Not only does it mean "quality alone time together," it actually has the power to turn a somewhat boring errand into a mini-adventure. A date can be as formal or as informal as you want.
For instance, have you ever asked your child to go out on a "date" with you to Albertsons? Or to the post office? Even a "date" to the dry cleaners or to the bank can sound very enticing. You will instantly see the excitement in your child's eyes.
Since we had our very first date a few months back, Evan and I have enjoyed many fun outings and adventures together.
We have been to the Deer Valley Airport for dinner, where we watched the airplanes take off and land. We took a trip to As You Wish, a pottery-painting shop at the Desert Ridge Marketplace, where we painted adorable little racecars together.
Most recently, we went to see the movie "Garfield" at Farrelli's Cinema Supper Club in Scottsdale. We ate chicken fingers and French fries while we watched the movie.
I can't begin to tell you how much I cherish these special "alone" times with my son. I know that every date we go on together, we are forming a closer bond and creating beautiful memories.
I also know that my date nights with Evan are numbered. I realize that the day will come when I will not be his date of choice. But, until that day comes, if my son ever wants to go out on a date with me, I will always be available.
Lila Baltman is a freelance writer in Phoenix. Contact her at baltman@qwest.net.
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