Marriage 101
LEISAH NAMM
Managing Editor
Caught in the chaos of planning a wedding, many couples often seem to lose sight of the most important aspect - the relationship.
Distracted by cake flavors or flower arrangements, the bride and groom have little time to work on communication skills or conflict resolution - important skills in both wedding planning and in their future as a couple.
A possible solution? Jewish Marriage University, a marriage preparation program sponsored by the Bureau of Jewish Education for engaged and serious couples and the recently married.
"In today's world, couples face many challenges and the Jewish Marriage University really tries to cover a wide range of issues," says Linda Feldman, BJE family life educator. These issues include "communication skills, conflict resolution and finding ways to solve problems that crop up with everybody's life," she says. Participants learn "how to do that in a warm, loving way."
Couples meet 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m. on two Sundays and on one weekday evening. "It's a good chunk of time, but it's more an intensive period of time," Feldman says. "If people can make that commitment to the relationship and their upcoming marriage ... I think that shows something special about this relationship."
The three-year-old program is offered twice a year - the next one begins Oct. 17. An additional class is offered for interfaith couples.
The program also features guest speakers, including professional therapists and counselors, professors and rabbis from different denominations. "The participants not only are introduced and can learn some wonderful skills in dealing with varied relationship issues, but they get to see what wonderful people we have in our community who are willing to help them if anything pops up," Feldman says.
Couples who have been married 40 years or more serve as mentors and share insights about their marriages. "It's very inspiring to hear about couples who have been married so long," says Jill Baars, 33, who attended the program with fianc‚ Jay Stein, 39, in the spring. The couple wasn't engaged yet when they enrolled in the course, although they knew they were on that path. "I knew it would be important in terms of communication," Baars says. The class prompted her to move forward with her conversion process and brought up some issues that she's glad they were able to address at this early stage.
"I'm very impressed with the couples that come to the program," Feldman says. "It shows a real commitment that they want to make the relationship long-lasting. What more can you ask from a couple as they approach marriage or are in the early stage of their marriage?
"Commitment is the big word and that's really evident when they come to this class."
Cost is $120 per couple.
Call Feldman, 480-634-8050.
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