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June 18, 2004/Sivan 29 5764, Vol. 56, No.39
Heavenly matchesEditorial"So what has God been doing since the creation of the world?" a rabbi is asked."Making matches." Rabbi Maurice Lamm uses the artful midrash in his seminal "The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage" to convey the primacy of marriage in Jewish life. The divine surely has a hand in making heavenly matches, and if the stories of wedded bliss in this week's Wonderful Wedding section are any indication, the divine has a hand, too, in making them work. Jewish News Staff Writer Jennifer Goldberg, who coordinated the section, asked couples to share their advice. Their responses range from talking and listening to laughing and keeping perspective. They capture the need for mutual respect, for understanding, for partnership. They emphasize the benefit of shared values and beliefs and an underlying commitment of each partner to the other. "We have worked hard every day," confides Odette Rebibo of her 50-plus year marriage to Rabbi David Rebibo of Beth Joseph Congregation. Marriage means being together in times of intense joy and overwhelming sadness; it means sharing anything and everything, from children to in-laws, from dessert to bedcovers. It means working hard to make two become one, while preserving the essence of each. It's not easy, especially in a world in which love and marriage often are seen as mutually exclusive; where to some, commitment is intimidating; where singles often look for love in all the wrong places; where making a match may be little more than a double click online; and where the "ka-ching" of the cash register continues to power a multimillion-dollar wedding industry even as the divorce rate remains in the stratosphere. In this world, infusing our notions of love and marriage with a little of Lamm's divine intervention appeals. It induces us to elevate those intangibles that the sages teach us make a marriage a marriage: blessing, peace, joy, companionship and love. And to choose partners who want the same. Creating and nurturing a Jewish marriage inspires us to look beyond individual need to mutual benefit, from selfish want to shared enterprise. It inspires us to create Jewish homes and families, households and communities. It is the quintessential expression of Jewish continuity. And all this from making a match. No wonder the Ba'al Shem Tov likened finding one's beloved to the convergence of two streams of light in the universe. May wonderful weddings abound and light our way. |
