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June 11, 2004/Sivan 22 5764, Vol. 56, No. 38
Color me pink - and blue
VICKI CABOT
Contributing Editor
Pink is in.
Could be why Allison Pearson chose pink for the cover of her bestseller, "I Don't Know How She Does It." But Pearson's alternately hilarious and heartbreaking saga of working motherhood is a dark tale of feminine angst. Perhaps that's why its cover goes from pale to pow; the book has enough punch to make any working mother cringe.
"I hate that book," confides one accomplished professional with two little ones at home. "It feeds into all my insecurities as a mother."
Another woman, married, with a high-speed career and future plans for children "when the time is right," grimaces at the mere mention of the novel cum real-life expos‚.
Pearson, a London jour-nalist, tells the story of the fictional Kate Reddy, a wildly successful hedge fund manager, wife, mother, friend. Reddy can juggle nine currencies in five time zones, but can she also juggle the needs of architect husband Rich, daughter Emily and baby Ben with the demands of her fast-paced career?
Pearson, the novelist, handles it all without skipping a beat, from the rivalry between working and non-working mothers, to office politics, sexual and otherwise, to marital coupling, or not, to guilt, which she slathers on with a heavy hand.
The opening scene has Reddy in the kitchen, madly smashing bought mince pies with a rolling pin to fashion them homemade for a school fete and ends with her visiting the grave of a friend, a stay-at-home mom who leaves behind pages of minutiae detailing the lives of her children. Her headstone reads simply, "She was well-loved."
As the number of working women edges out the number of working men, with nearly half of American mothers working outside the home, Pearson's take resounds. It captures the ineffable balancing of work and family and the fervently sought, but oft elusive, equilibrium.
It makes a compelling case for flexibility in the workplace, for creative models to blend our roles and responsibilities. It underlines the need to allow for time off and time on, for one parent working and another staying home, for temporary leaves and successful re-entries. It reminds us that we must raise our sons, as well as our daughters, to parent well, and that means providing not only means but also models and memories.
With Father's Day ap-proaching on June 20, what better time to begin rethinking our ways - and what better place to start than at home? Studies show that husbands of employed women do more housework and child care than those of stay-at-home women, but still leave a preponderance of the work and responsibility to their wives.
But dads, as well as moms, can be jugglers, managing a slew of charges with an ostensible sleight of hand. So this year, instead of tossing a football with the kids while mom is in the kitchen, how about tossing in a load of laundry or whipping up dinner?
Parenting comes in pink and blue. So can marveling at how he, as well as she, does it all.
Contact the writer at vicki_cabot@jewishaz.com.
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