Finding meaning

Seder should be personal, lively

AMY LEDERMAN

Judaic Specialist Hannah Sebag prepares Arleen Siegel's class of 3-year-olds for Passover at the Har Zion Early Childhood Center. Pictured, from left, are Max Bloomenstein, Alyssa Schwartz, Julien Polster, Sebag, Ethan Cohen, Zoey Myers and Elyse Mara.

Photo courtesy of Har Zion Congregation

It all started almost a decade ago when my husband and I decided that we wanted to create a more personal and meaningful Passover ex-perience for our family and friends. My own childhood memories were filled with images of my father hunting for the set of Maxwell House Hag-gadot in our basement and marking "skip" on every third page. Meanwhile, my mother covertly boiled carrots in fish stock to hide the fact from my grandmother that the gefilte fish was the store-bought kind. Even though I loved the traditions, foods and songs of my childhood, I knew, as an adult, that we could do, feel and learn more from Passover than I had as a child. But how?

The Haggadah tells us that in every generation we should regard ourselves as though we personally left Egypt. My husband and I wondered, "Could we create a seder experience of the Exodus that would give us a sense of moving from slavery to freedom?"

We decided to hold our seder in a totally different setting and converted the back porch into a huge Egyptian tent by hanging sheets from the arches to create walls. A friend helped by painting brightly-colored pyramids, camels and sphinxes on them, and our children displayed their Passover art dating back to pre-school days. We spread blankets on the floor and put pillows around the sides of the tent to sit or lean back on, in accordance with the tradition that we should be relaxed and feel free during the seder. The ceiling was covered with tiny sparkling lights that looked like stars as the evening sun set and the tent became darker. In the corner, encircled by lights, was a beautiful picture of Jerusalem with the words "Next Year in Jerusalem" painted on it.

As the more than 30 guests arrived, we asked them to remove their shoes, like the Hebrew slaves, who often worked without them. Each family sat together, near a "Seder Station" - a tray with a seder plate, matzo, wine and bowls of parsley, charoset, maror and salt water. Because we had so many children at our seder, we passed trays of fruit and vegetables during the seder to ward off hunger and whining. As the years progressed, we asked our friends to contribute more to the seder than just food - to lead a discussion, share a story or offer a reading or poem.

We asked our children to help us create living plagues, which they did with joy. They taped plastic bugs under the cups for "lice," put white styrofoam packing material on our ceiling fan which whirled through the air as "hail" and turned water into "blood." Stomachs were covered with fake boils and sunglasses were passed out to experience the darkness. One year, my son used his fog machine to create an eerie rendition of the killing of the firstborn, and my daughter and her best friend wrote a Passover rap that rivaled Motown. As our family grew into this experience, we modified, added and removed things that no longer fit our ages and stages to keep it fresh and meaningful.

When it came time for the festive meal, we exited the tent and followed signs through the sandy desert (a.k.a., our sandbox) to the Promised Land of our backyard where tables were decorated in a Jerusalem motif of blue and gold. We ate under the stars and finished the seder by singing so loud that one year we even competed with our neighbors in a round of "Dayenus!"

While Passover in a tent is not for everyone, for those of you looking for ways to create more meaningful, lively seder experiences, here are a few ideas that can help you create one for your family.

Be prepared - Study the Passover text beforehand and familiarize yourself with the actual story and order of the seder so that you can blend your own innovative ideas, questions and theatrics with Jewish tradition to create a seder experience most suitable for your family.

Choose a Haggadah that you like -We used various Haggadot throughout the years but one of our favorites was Noam Zion's "A Different Night: The Family Participation Haggadah" (Shalom Hartman Institute, $17.95 paperback). A quick search online will lead you to wonderful ideas and books including the newest on the subject entitled, "Creating Lively Passover Seders, A Sourcebook of Engaging Tales, Texts and Activities" (Jewish Lights Publishing, $24.99 paperback).

Be inclusive - Try to engage adults and chil-dren at your seder by giving them jobs, such as thinking up a plague, acting out a part of the seder or leading a dis-cussion. The more your guests feel connected to the seder, the more meaning it will have for them.

Ask questions - The Hagaddah invites ques-tions and so should you. Try asking your guests beforehand to think of a Passover question they would like answered at the seder or lead a discussion by asking your guests what "plag-ues" them most in their own lives. By en-couraging questions you will encourage your guests to personally explore what the seder means to them.

Buy time and use props - Everyone knows that the seder is a long night, especially the children. The more you do to keep the children at your seder involved, like using toy plagues and offering snacks during the seder, the better your chances for enjoying the time together as you tell the Passover story.

Celebrate the joy - Most importantly, Passover is a time to share the joy of being together as a family in a land where we are free to practice Judaism openly and rejoice in the feeling of rebirth and renewal, which is the message of Passover. Whatever you do and however you do it, have fun.

Amy Lederman is a free-lance writer from Tucson.

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