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March 5, 2004/Adar 12 5764, Vol. 56, No. 24
How clean should kids keep their rooms?
BETH OLSON
Staff Writer
How clean should kids' rooms be?
I've heard opinions that run the gamut from, "If it's my house, the bedrooms will be kept up to my standards" to "Their rooms can look however they want, as long as I don't have to see it."
And while I generally lean more toward the first viewpoint, I, like so many other parents these days, am trying to make an effort toward simplifying life - you know, "don't sweat the small stuff," "pick your battles," etc.
My mother-in-law maintains a completely clutter-free house. In fact, even when she was raising five children, it appeared that no one lived there - like a cottage closed up for the summer (plastic on the furniture included). Unfortunately, my husband didn't learn by example.
My own household clutter level seems to fall closer to my own when I was young - there's always a lot going on and someone is always doing a project, but at the end of the day, or at least by the end of the week, everything gets put away.
My kids have to pick up their rooms every day before they go to bed (OK, that's the goal, but it's more like five days a week once you throw in an evening dance rehearsal and a weekend party). Once a week they do a "deep cleaning" which requires them to neaten their drawers and closets, check under the bed and dressers for anything that may have "accidentally" slipped under there during the quick weeknight pick-up session, dust, vacuum and clean out their dance bags and backpacks.
Despite the same requirements, my kids are very different. One of my children is very messy. Ten minutes after I inspect her room there are eight items on her floor. The other one can usually keep her room pretty clean unless she has friends over and they take every single toy she owns out, which is also a frustration.
My 6-year-old has a particularly messy neighborhood friend. Every time she comes over to play, it's as if a tornado hit. When we send the friends home ourselves, we always give 10 minutes or so for them to help clean up (and I'm not shy about telling them that if they don't help, they won't be allowed to come over for a week - it really does work). The problem arises when their mom knocks on the door and says it's time to come home for dinner. I feel a bit uncomfortable making their whole family wait to eat while asking her to clean up my house, so she usually leaves with her mom, leaving a disaster in her wake. These play dates usually end with mom or dad lending a helping hand.
Even how my girls clean their rooms differs. They can do their deep clean at any time on the weekend, but somehow my 12-year-old is always rushing to try to finish at 9 on Sunday night.
I've instituted a new consequence. Friday and Saturday are freebies - if they get their rooms done, there are no consequences. If by Sunday they haven't taken care of their responsibilities, they are restricted from playing with friends, and using the television, computer and phone until it's done. For the younger one, this is enough to get her into gear the minute she gets home from Hebrew school, but for my older daughter it's just a reason to complain.
I don't like that Sunday afternoon - which feels like it should be peaceful family time - has turned into an unpleasant struggle about a clean bedroom. On the other hand, as most families with two working parents know, if you don't get the house in order prior to the start of the work and school week, you'll be living in squalor by Friday - it's hard enough to maintain the house during the week, never mind trying to get things done that didn't get finished on the weekend.
So I try to comfort myself with the thought that when my daughters go off to college or start a home of their own, they'll understand the importance of picking up after themselves and keeping their homes neat and organized. And if this is payback for the struggles I had with my own mom about my room, then we'll come full circle when they have families of their own.
Contact the writer at beth_olson@jewishaz.com.
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