Give a holiday gift of dignity
JUDY SCHAFFERT
Special to Jewish News
I would be surprised if you know my neighbor Ruth. I met her and her husband as they walked through the neighborhood, followed by their ancient dog.
"Don't mind Chipper," Walter would say. "He's deaf."
A couple of years back, Walter passed away. I knew that like most couples, they had their better and their worse moments, but Ruth has been a lot lonelier since then. And Chipper is digging up petunias in a better place, so Ruth lives alone with her cat. She still takes her walk every morning, slowly making her way around the block.
The other day I ran into Ruth at Target. She made friends with several strangers on her way over to me. We chatted idly about Thanksgiving, which was coming up. She said she was going to buy a turkey while they were 44 cents a pound and save it for Christmas. I knew Ruth had to watch every penny and nodded. She then told me that a woman who came for dinner recently had phoned to ask whether she would like flowers or a turkey.
"I don't need flowers, so I accepted the turkey," she said.
Her face lit up when she confided that she likes the turkey sandwiches - "with mayo and lettuce" - better than the fresh bird out of the oven.
Warming up to the topic of useless presents and good ones, Ruth told me of two that she thought were wonderful. Her daughter had marked Mother's Day by pre-paying Ruth's telephone bill for the year.
"I don't need another nightie or bottle of perfume," she explained. "Another friend of mine's kids pooled their money last Christmas and sent it to Salt River Project to pay for her electricity. Now that," she looked right into my eyes, to make sure I was paying attention, "is a great gift."
Sure, I thought. That woman can stay cool in the summer, have enough money to cover her monthly expenses and perhaps buy a tiny luxury or two. Why hadn't I thought about such a wonderful gift before?
Each of us has a neighbor, parent, aunt or friend like Ruth. Perhaps they are less practical or even more fortunate than she is. But I want to encourage you to investigate how you can help them in a dignified way that lasts all year. Pay $60 or $120 towards their electric or phone bills, and they will have a little more wiggle room in their monthly budgets. Or get together with your brothers and sisters and cousins and sponsor the electric bill for the year. Won't that make for a year with fewer worries for them?
Even if you don't have money, you can offer to change light bulbs and run errands for the Ruth in your life.
Judy Schaffert is a past president of Temple Solel in Paradise Valley.
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