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May 16, 2003/Iyar 14 5763, Vol. 55, No. 38
Enforcing divorce
Rabbinical council votes to assist women with process
LEISAH NAMM
Managing Editor
The Orthodox Rabbinical Council of Greater Phoenix has issued a statement declaring that it will take action against men who refuse to give their wife a get (Jewish divorce).
At an April 11 meeting, the council, which is made up of local Orthodox rabbis and serves as the local beit din (rabbinical court), unanimously voted to act decisively on behalf of local women whose husbands refuse to give them a get, said Beth Joseph Congregation's Rabbi David Rebibo, president of the council.
A get is a no-fault document that terminates a Jewish marriage and certifies the fact that both members of the couple are now free to remarry according to Jewish law. The document has no bearing or effect on any aspect of the civil settlement and makes no reference to responsibility or fault, according to the Web site of Kayama, a nonprofit organization that provides information and assistance for obtaining a get (www.kayama.org). The get itself is a bill of divorce consisting of 12 lines that is handwritten by an experienced scribe under the supervision of a rabbi and signed by two authorized witnesses.
"Regardless of one's personal convictions or beliefs, obtaining a get is important to ensure free social interaction within the Jewish community," according to the Kayama Web site. This affects the divorcing parties as well as their future children. Many rabbis will not officiate at a remarriage for a man or woman whose previous marriage ended without a get. In addition, according to traditional Jewish law, a child born to a woman whose previous marriage did not terminate with a get may be considered mamzer (illegitimate). Such a child may be barred from marrying into many segments of the Jewish community, possibly depriving him or her of the opportunity to marry the individual of their choice.
"Even non-Orthodox women, when it comes to divorce, want to be positive and sure and secure a get because they never know who they might meet," Rebibo said.
In cases when a husband's where-abouts are unknown and he therefore is unable to give a get, the woman becomes an agunah, "abandoned." An example of this is when a man is lost at war and it's unknown whether or not he is still alive, and therefore it's unclear whether or not the couple is still married, said Rabbi Zvi Holland of the Phoenix Community Kollel, a member of the council. The victims of the Sept. 11 terrorist attack are an example of this.
When the husband refuses to give his wife a get, she becomes, in a sense, a "manmade agunah;" she is still considered married because her husband's whereabouts are known and he can give a get, Holland said. A mesurevet get (refused a get) is a woman who the rabbinical court agrees is entitled to a get but does not receive one.
In Israel, civil authorities empower the rabbinical court to enforce Jewish law, and men who refuse to give their wife a get may be put in prison, said Holland. "If somebody refuses to follow the law, the state supports (the rabbinical court)."
However, in the United States, a Jewish court has no such power.
"(The council's) power is based on the fact that the community is interested in following Jewish law and is committed to following decisions made by reliable, responsible rabbis," Holland said.
Jewish law has certain procedures to motivate a Jewish man to give his wife a get, Rebibo explained. For example, using "social pressure" to place "a religious quarantine" on the man, he said, "making him a social outcast because, in a sense, he's depriving somebody else of social rights."
The council will first send three formal invitations to the husband to appear in front of the rabbinical court. "After all three invitations have been ignored - then we'll proceed," Rebibo said.
Possible actions include forbidding the husband to enter a synagogue, be called to the Torah, say Kaddish (prayer for the dead) or be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
Other actions include notifying Jewish courts in the United States, Europe and Israel and publicizing the case in local and national media.
In Israel, a get determines financial and custody aspects of a divorce, Rebibo said. But in the United States, a "get is solely for the purpose of releasing the spouses from their religious bond to each other and allowing them to marry anyone else that they want. It does not address the issue of financial or custody (matters) - the civil court decides on that."
What often happens, however, is that a husband uses "the get as a weapon to extract whatever they couldn't get in a civil court," Rebibo said.
As rabbis, "trustees of Jewish law, we have responsibilities when the law is being not only ignored, but used for the wrong purpose," Rebibo said. "When somebody tries to use the law as a weapon or blackmail or something of this nature, we are accountable to act up and to address the issue."
Today, many rabbis recommend that couples sign a prenuptial agreement with stipulations that include a Jewish divorce.
Rebibo said this issue has been alive in the Valley since he arrived 39 years ago. "I don't recall any time when there wasn't one woman who wasn't struggling to get a get," he said.
The case that currently brings this issue to the forefront concerns a Phoenix woman who first separated from her husband in 1995 and obtained a civil divorce in 1997. The man has since refused to give her a get.
"The pain that I had will never be removed," said the woman. She said her most painful disappointment about not receiving the get is that she hasn't been able to remarry and have more children and now feels that she is beyond childbearing age. "The loss that I had will not be removed," she said.
The council has been discussing this particular case for a long time, Rebibo said, but due to its complexities, this is the first time it has taken this action.
"Our purpose here is to alert the community as a whole that this is a procedure that we are dedicated to," he said. "Believe it or not, we are very conscious of what we are doing because it's not a very popular thing when you do this. But the truth of the matter is, what else do you do when you've tried everything else?"
The Board of Rabbis of Greater Phoenix, made up of rabbis from denominations other than Orthodox, planned to discuss its position on the council's decision, but information was not available at press time.
To assist community members in understanding this issue, the Phoenix Community Kollel will host a lecture by Holland, "Jewish Divorce and the Role of Beit Din," 10:30 a.m. Monday, May 26, at Young Israel of Phoenix, 745 E. Maryland Ave., #120. Call 602-433-0300.
To find out more about receiving a get, call 602-277-8858.
Contact the writer at leisah_namm@jewishaz.com.
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