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May 2, 2002/Nisan 30, 5763 Vol. 55, No. 36
Temple Chai's 'Big Fat Jewish Wedding'
LEISAH NAMM
Managing Editor
Twenty-one couples renewed their vows at Temple Chai's "Big Fat Jewish Wedding," a fund-raising event for the synagogue. Pictured here, the "brides" and "grooms" play "The Oldlywed Game" during the reception following the ceremony.
Photo by Ed Goodman Photography
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It was like a scene out of a movie.
But then again, it was supposed to be.
This year's fund-raiser at Temple Chai played on the success of the film "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and gave it a Jewish twist.
"My Big Fat Jewish Wedding," conceived by Kathy Hoffman, wife of temple president Louis Hoffman, was held at the synagogue on April 12.
"I thought the Greeks are very haimish, very like the Jews as far as family and fun, and I thought that the whole idea of the movie lent itself to our customs and our style of partying," Hoffman says. "I thought, why reinvent the wheel, why not take a great idea and tweak it to fit your own need?"
Although much of the evening was lighthearted - from an "Oldlywed" game to "Windex shots," (blue Kool-Aid and vodka) it also had a serious element: Twenty-one couples renewed their vows in a ceremony led by the synagogue's rabbis and cantor under a giant chupah in the temple's candlelit courtyard.
"The night couldn't have been more beautiful," says Lory Fischler of Phoenix, who renewed vows with husband Ron. The couple, married 32 years, wore "schlocky wedding wear," Fischler says. She bought a used wedding dress and a veil and her husband wore a tux and rented a ruffled tux shirt.
Ellen and Jere Friedman of Phoenix donned the same outfits they wore at their wedding five years ago, while others wore select items from their original wedding.
The evening wasn't only for couples renewing their vows. One couple brought along a group of friends dressed as bridesmaids. Others came as wedding guests.
"There were opportunities for everybody to have fun," says Hope Sherman, who attended with her husband Craig.
The Shermans, married 17 years, renewed their vows.
"One of my favorite parts was just being able to say 'I do' again," Sherman says. "I think that was really special. It was very sentimental being able to say 'I do,' and I still do and always will do."
"Renewing covenantal vows is a serious business," says Rabbi William Berk in a letter sent to congregants before the event. "Over and over again in our history, Jewish people have been asked to stand up and restate their commitment to each other and to God."
An example that was presented was when Moses had the people renew their covenantal vows with God in the Sinai wilderness and again at the end of his life.
Nora Perlmutter of Scottsdale, who is a past president of the synagogue, says her favorite part of the evening was renewing vows with her husband Steve.
"At one point the rabbi asked each spouse to whisper his or her vows into each other's ears," she says. "My husband whispered in my ear that he promised to find me entertaining for the rest of his life. I thought that was absolutely awesome... My husband gets bored very easily. I guess he plans to keep me."
She says the renewal ceremony was almost more meaningful than their original wedding ceremony.
Since the couple didn't know the rabbi who officiated at their wedding 22 years ago, they enjoyed having the entire clergy team - Berk, Rabbi Peter Levi, Rabbi Lisa Tzur and Cantor Sharona Feller - officiate at the renewal service, she explains.
"It was lovely in the fact that our friends were sur-rounding us, also renewing their vows," she adds. "There was some-thing very special about that."
Following the ceremony was a reception complete with dancing and a wedding cake.
"It was just a gorgeous, gorgeous party, they didn't miss a thing," says Pauline Staman of Phoenix, who attended with her husband Paul.
Original photographs from the participants' weddings hung on the walls. Table centerpieces were Bundt cakes with a flowerpot filled with flowers in the middle. Ruth Levi, wife of Rabbi Peter Levi, designed ketubot for each of the couples who renewed their vows, and yarmulkes had "My Big Fat Jewish Wedding" printed on them. On the table were wedding-cake shaped bubble blowers and wrapped Jordan almonds.
Many partici-pants cited a game patterned after "The Newly-wed Game" - "The Oldlywed Game" - as one of their favor- ite parts of the evening.
To play, the men stood on a stage, standing behind their wives. Both husband and wife had a yellow hat and a pink hat and when the deejay asked questions, each person would answer by putt-ing on one of the hats. For instance, to the question "Who's a backseat driver?" the man or woman would either put on the pink or yellow hat (representing the wife or husband). If the husband and wife put on different color hats, they were eliminated. The winning couple was Rabbi William and Susan Berk.
As an additional fund-raiser, couples were given the option to have the dance floor to themselves to dance to their first song.
The Stamans, who cele-brated their 50th anniversary two years ago, danced to "Too Young" by Nat King Cole. "When we got off the dance floor, (the people at the next table) applauded," Pauline Staman says.
At one point during the evening, deejays Alan and Amy Isaacson asked each table to count out how many years the people at the table had been married and add them together. The Stamans' table - where couples had been married 52, 53 and 54 years - won.
Similar to a real wedding, photographer Ed Goodman took photos of individual couples that could be purchased afterward. All renewal couples will also receive a videotape of the event, Hoffman says.
"(The Big Fat Jewish Wedding) was a great opportunity to celebrate not just a wonderful event like a wedding, but also to celebrate the temple and to offer our support at this annual fund raiser," says Sherman. "Everything about it was really a fun, enchanted evening."
Contact the writer at leisah_namm@jewishaz.com
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