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May 2, 2002/Nisan 30, 5763 Vol. 55, No. 36
Parenthood full of challenges
BETH OLSON
Staff Writer
I could be a grandmother before I'm 40.
While listening to a news program about teenage pregnancy on the radio, the thought hit me. My oldest daughter is nearly 12, and if she, God forbid, has a child while still a teenager, I could be a grandmother in the next few years.
Being a young mother runs in our family. My mom gave birth to me, her oldest, when she was 22. Likewise, when my husband and I had our oldest child, we were 22. My mother-in-law was an elderly 27 when she gave birth to my husband - but he's the youngest of five children.
Being a young parent is hard. Of course, being a parent, period, is difficult, but there are special challenges and sacrifices you make as a young parent, and, fortunately, some great rewards.
Being pregnant with my first child when I was 21 was a very lonely experience. I was still in college and I had friends my own age, but wasn't able to participate in their lifestyle of impromptu plans and late-night get-togethers.
I didn't really have much in common with the moms I would meet at the park and I never found a playgroup where I fit in. Most of the other moms were closer to my mother's age than my own.
There have been other challenges. It's a financial strain to have children when you're young - we didn't have any savings or a house when we started our family and it seems like it took forever to establish those things while we were also paying for baby clothes, diapers and preschool.
As I've gotten older, some of my friends have started having children, but there is still a very distinct divide. They are wrapped up in diapers and daycare, while we're looking toward the challenges of raising a teen (and NOT becoming grandparents before we're 40).
Of course, it's not all bad. When I feel overwhelmed, I try to remember the positive aspects of having been a young mom. Most of our children's friends think we're cool. The boys in the neighborhood knock on our door to see if my husband can play basketball or baseball with them. My daughter's friends chatter to me about boys and problems with friends - things they don't always talk to their own parents about.
And, while I relished the time my children were babies and toddlers, I can also be thankful that we're done waking up in the night with the kids, we don't have to change any more diapers and I don't have to pack a suitcase full of supplies every time we walk out the door.
We can take the kids out to dinner without worrying about their behavior. We can run errands at any time without conflicts with naptime. There are no special tools needed for eating, sleeping or going to the bathroom.
Best of all, when the kids move out, my husband and I will still be in our 40s - plenty of pre-retirement life left to pursue career goals, enjoy each other and travel the world. Our same-age friends will be the ones at home with the kids while we're off living a child-free life of leisure.
Contact the writer at beth_olson@jewishaz.com.
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