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April 18, 2003/Nisan 16 5763, Vol. 55, No. 34
A Passover letter to my children
Torah study
RABBI DAVID REBIBO
Chol Hamoed Passover 5763
Mom and I have now been married for 50 years, and here lies a most unique and blessed legacy. With feelings of gratitude we look back at the incredible experience. As you all know, mom too has her own shulchan Aruch (ways of preparing) for Pesach, (Passover) and you know me, I am not one of those husbands who complain about Pesach starting three weeks before the actual date. I never complained about eating in the backyard or the lack of chametz (leavened foods) in the refrigerator or koshering the kitchen long before Pesach. And on Sunday mornings when mom goes through my closet and asks me to get rid of suits, I gladly make my yearly contribution by giving away at least two suits and three or four pants, all for the sake of Pesach. Doing Pesach her way has become a wonderful and integral part of our Pesach legacy.
Rambam insists that the Pesach experience of release from bondage is not one that should be buried in the recesses of one's heart or conscience. Instead, it must be a feeling of sharing and linking the present to the past generations. The Torah insists that the main attraction for Pesach is "Take for yourselves a lamb, for your father's home ... one lamb for your family." The prime celebration of Pesach centered around the Pascal sacrifice that was shared at the father's house as a family unit. So, when the seder finally arrives, we must all be involved. Pesach, which celebrates the birth of our people as a nation, is best understood when implemented within a familial context.
While of course we learn Torah in school and in Yeshivot, one can't fully grasp the mesorah (traditional) process unless one integrates and appreciates Torat Mishpocha (family traditions) as an integral part of Torah She Baal Peh (oral Torah tradition). The best learning, moral and spiritual values take place in our early years within a warm and natural family setting, but its full impact is realized only years later.
So that you will instruct your children, the celebration of Pesach in a family atmosphere is not an accident of history, but a Jewish doctrine to the Jews as a people. The constitution of the United States begins with "We the People"; the Torah begins with "We the Families."
The search for roots becomes the most meaningful experience on a personal and religious level. The structure of the seder experience is designed to implement this mesorah learning through dialogue between parents and children as we transcend the generations. Pesach is therefore not only the beginning of our nationhood, but the root experience of Klal Yisrael (the Jewish people). In this context, it becomes imperative, as parents, that in addition to the Haggadah and all the seder paraphernalia, that we must therefore share with our children our own exodus experience of our present and past generations. However, modern times have created multiple obstacles and it has become indeed a challenge to maintain the purity of this family tradition.
The result is that we have learned and religious children, but we have not afforded them enough memories. Today's family is challenged on multiple fronts. Distance, careers and technology all conspire to keep the family apart.
So, when the seder arrives, we must all be involved. This year, we are grateful for all those who are able to come home again, yet there will be many empty chairs. We can't always hold on to those we love, but we will continue to reach. Mom joins with me in sending our b'rachot (blessings) to all our great-grandchildren, grandchildren and the parents, too.
Rabbi Rebibo is the spiritual leader at Beth Joseph Congregation.
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