|
March 14, 2003/Adar2 10 5763, Vol. 55, No. 29
Purim political intrigueEditorialAny similarities between the following characters and leaders in the Valley are purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously. Please.It happened in the days of Janet Nahasuerusitano - who reigned from Page to Nogales. To celebrate her first months as governess, she hosted a grand banquet. At the festivities, she ordered Robert Kravashti of the American Jewish Committee to parade before her guests - but without his trademark cartoon necktie. Kravashti refused. The shocked governess banished Kravashti and replaced him with Bill Strausesther of the Anti-Defamation League, for he too was a snappy dresser. Now Strausesther, unbeknownst to Nahasuerusitano, shared a quality with one of the governess' trusted advisors, Vicki Mordecabot of the Jewish Federation of Greater Phoenix: They were both Jewish. Meanwhile, Nahasuerusitano appointed Sheriff Joe Arhamano as her chief advisor. He quickly devised a creative plan concerning the Jews. In an audience with Nahasuerusitano, he declared, "There is a certain people scattered among the other peoples in your Valley. Let an edict be drawn for the creation of a single, vibrant neighborhood where they can dwell together." Arhamano called for the establishment of kosher delis and bakeries surrounding the Ina Levine Jewish Community Campus, and for an eruv to prohibit cars and SUVs during Shabbat. Despite a coffers deficit, Nahasuerusitano agreed to fund the project. Mordecabot and Strausesther were shocked when they heard the news. Mordecabot instructed Strausesther to invite the governess and Arhamano to a feast. That night, Nahasuerusitano could not sleep, so she ordered the governmental records to be read to her about the time Mordecabot arranged for Nahasue-rusitano to give a campaign speech to the Valley of the Sun Jewish Community Center seniors. Their support delivered enough votes for Nahasuerusitano to attain the crown. In preparation for the banquet, Mordecabot had briefed Strausesther well. Strausesther expressed to Nahasuerusitano his displeasure with the plan to create a single Jewish neighborhood. He said a strong community is dependent upon a diverse number of communities. And he reminded the governess that more than 200 Jewish organizations, institutions and businesses thrive throughout the Valley. Strausesther urged creating multiple JCCs and expanding programming and outreach for the plethora of Jewish organizations. Nahasuerusitano immediately agreed, and issued a decree to fund the plan - ignoring charges that this faith-based initiative was unconstitutional - and for celebration, feasting and merrymaking. |
