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January 3, 2003/Tevet 29 5763, Vol. 55, No. 19
New Year's resolutions can be a family thing
BETH OLSON
Staff Writer
Being Jewish affords us a very special opportunity - a chance to refresh and renew, make resolutions and celebrate a new year - not just once, but twice a year.
For families, Rosh Hashana happens to occur at a very convenient time for new resolutions. The fall is a great time to set goals with the start of a new school year and sports seasons. Then the secular calendar gives us a chance to fine-tune and tweak these resolutions after just a couple of months on Jan. 1. So whether you're setting brand new goals or working on those from September, make your New Year's resolutions a family activity
Write down goals - Have everyone in the family think about what they'd like to do differently in the coming year, then set aside a time to sit down and talk about those goals as a family. Help your children write down their own set of goals for themselves. Be careful not to push them into the goals that are important to you. (Can you imagine if your spouse came to you and said, "I've decided you need to lose weight this year. I've written down some goals and tips for you to get started. Good luck.")
Share your goal - While some resolutions are better kept to yourself, most of the time you'll be more successful if you share what you're trying to accomplish to help keep you on track.
I was a nail biter for about 25 years of my life. Even when I'd try to quit, I'd find myself chomping away without even realizing it. For these mindless habits, it helps to have others watching out for you. Try offering your kids a dime for every time they catch you biting your nails (or cracking your knuckles, grinding your teeth or twisting your hair) then head to the bank and get a roll of dimes and prepare to be relentlessly followed around until your bad habit is gone.
Research - Spend some time finding out what the experts say. If your goal is to lose weight or prepare healthier meals, have the family peruse cookbooks full of healthy recipes and choose ones they would like to try.
Any child age 10 or older is probably pretty savvy at Internet research. Give them some specific topics to do a search on and then print the results and present them to you.
Another great way to do research as a family is to do a trip to the public library. Find books that deal with your goals and sit down together and read.
Detail a clear set of steps to reaching your goal - Once you've set specific goals and done some research, you're ready to forge a plan. Be specific as people tend to put things off if they can. If the goal is to declutter, choose a specific area to start with and set aside a time. For example, rather than saying you'll spend an hour a week fighting clutter, set aside one hour on Sunday mornings to organize the closets.
Help kids set a time each day to pick up their things from around the house and pick up their rooms, or a time each week to clean out their backpacks.
Enlist help from family members - After you've decided on the steps to achieve your goal, call on your family to help and offer to help with their goals. If you incorporate family time with the other goals, you'll be much more likely to stick to it.
Is the goal to get more exercise? Plan a family hiking day once a month; take the dog for a walk at a city park on weekend mornings; rollerblade, jog, bicycle or scooter around the block two nights a week after dinner; or set aside a time each week to go to the park and play basketball, tag or Frisbee.
Evaluate periodically - Make sure you and your children have set aside time to evaluate your progress in order to give kudos to those who have worked hard toward their goals and to help get those back on track who have fallen by the wayside.
Ask a few questions about each of the goals that has been written down. Has the goal been accomplished? If not, is it still something the person would like to work toward? Which steps toward the goal were successful and which ones weren't? What should you do differently and what should you keep on doing?
By incorporating your children into your goal-setting activities, you may find that things that seem like a chore to you are given new life and excitement by the exuberance of a child, and, in turn, you can help your children to learn to utilize a very important life skill.
Contact the writer at beth_olson@jewishaz.com.
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