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May 3, 2002/Iyar 21, 5762, Vol. 54, No. 33
Routines make life a breeze...almost
BETH OLSON
Staff Writer
"The plan." It's a big joke among my family and friends - everyone knows that if someone has a plan, it's me. On the negative side, if something doesn't go according to "the plan," I can become anything from mildly irritated to totally incapable of functioning. On the other hand, my obsession about planning keeps my home running smoothly - most of the time.
While I certainly would not suggest anyone to take planning to my own extreme, I do believe that using planning and organizational tools makes for happier, less-stressed and more responsible kids.
The key is to develop a workable plan for your family, based on what needs to get done in what time frame. Then, type up a list and post it where everyone can see.
Once a plan has been used for several days or weeks, it becomes a routine - something that any parenting expert will tell you is important to children. Parents that don't institute routines have a variety of excuses from being too busy (show me a mom who's NOT busy) to not wanting to be "tied down." Good routines, however, save time for overworked parents, and should leave time for unscheduled activities.
The morning routine is the toughest for many families. Getting out the door each day can be a challenge, but the key is to figure out how much time you (and the kids) need to get everything done, tack on 15 minutes for unplanned things that may arise, and plan to wake up in time to finish it all. Mornings are rough if you don't get up in time to prepare for the day, so set a time and then actually get out of bed - without hitting snooze.
Getting the day started, however, doesn't let you off the hook. Once the kids get home from school, there are always homework, chores and after- school activities to attend to.
From the first day of kindergarten, our family rule has been that homework has to be done right after school - before going out to play or having friends over. For six years, the routine has been to walk in the door, grab a snack and sit down at the table to do homework. Believe it or not, I never have to remind my oldest daughter to start her homework.
After homework, there's a household chore (usually something small that only take five minutes or so - vacuuming the living room, wiping down the bathrooms, straightening the bookshelf), a quick bedroom pickup and then it's free time.
This routine allows for 2-2 1/2 hours between these responsibilities and dinnertime. Three days a week, some of that time is used for dance class and Hebrew school, but it still leaves time every day to play with friends, read, talk on the phone and listen to music.
We have another routine from dinner through bedtime. The best part of sticking to the evening routine is that both kids have completed all of their responsibilities by 7-7:30, so there's plenty of time for reading, playing games, or (like most families I know) one parent running off to a PTA meeting or the gym. If the kids are scrambling to finish a social studies project at 9:30 at night, when do you get time to get your own things done? A great way to get kids to follow these routines without having to nag every step of the way is to make a chore chart. I do my own on the computer, so they are easily adjustable. My 10-year-old has checklists for morning, afternoon and evening responsibilities. My 4-year-old has only a chore chart to use after dinner (bath, brush teeth, pick up toys from around the house and pick up bedroom). It's simple, but a great start toward future responsibility.
Are we perfect about using the chore chart every day? Not even close. But even using it for a month or two will instill a sense of routine. Then, if you notice the routine falling by the wayside, you can just print out the chore chart again and start over.
Contact the writer at beth_olson@jewishaz.com.
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