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September 7, 2001/Elul 19, 5761, Vol. 53, No.48
Shanah tovah, Gary Condit
Congressman gives lesson in how to prepare for the New Year
JOSEPH AARON
Chicago Jewish News
Well, everyone's been dumping all over Gary Condit ever since his big TV interview with Connie Chung.
But not me. I, in fact, am very grateful to old Gary, and feel that he's performed a very valuable public service.
Or, at least, a Jewish one.
I'm a big believer that everything happens when it does for a reason, that when something happens means something. It's our job to figure out exactly what that something is.
Gary kept his mouth shut, didn't say a public word, for almost four months.
He finally opened his mouth just before Rosh Hashana, the Days of Awe, but enough before Rosh Hashana that what he said, and what he didn't say, can do us a lot of good.
For most of us, the time leading up to Rosh Hashana is filled with arranging to attend services, inviting guests, planning meals, buying new clothes.
What tends to get lost in the shuffle is what we really need to do to be ready for what Rosh Hashana is all about. Namely to get our spiritual acts together, to look back at our behavior during the last year, to do a cheshbon hanefesh, a spiritual accounting, and decide what we are happy we did and what we regret doing.
Rosh Hashana is about repenting for actions of the last year we need to repent for, embracing the new year, resolving to do better, be better, not repeat the bad stuff, do more of the good stuff.
All of which is not at all easy or something we find ourselves eager, willing or able to do.
Which is why I am so thankful to Gary Condit.
As much as we want to dump all over Gary, say how pathetic he was with Connie, how much he came off as a big liar, as in denial, as unwilling to apologize for anything, take responsibility for anything, acknowledge reality, show true emotion, the fact is that we are all much more like Gary than we care to admit.
Indeed, I'd venture to say that most of us act pretty much like Gary did, even during Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.
Meaning while we think we are being open, straight, courageous for looking at ourselves and our actions, and feel all self-righteous and self-satisfied about that, just like Gary, the fact is that most of us are pretty slow to acknowledge our wrongdoing, pretty fast to say no, it wasn't us, wasn't our fault, that others have it wrong, are being unfair to us, that sure, we've made some mistakes, sure, we're not perfect people, but we've always tried to do all that has been asked of us, almost always done the right thing.
Just like Gary. And just like Gary, we, too, carefully play games with words in order to justify our actions, show how things really were. We, too, see things only from the perspective that puts us in the right, find fault with anyone and everyone else, say it was them, not us. Yes, we could have done some things a bit differently, we reluctantly, curtly force ourselves to barely utter, but overall, we firmly believe we've acted in the moral way, been on the right side, done what we should have.
We don't admit it, would never think of ourselves that way, but the truth is we're not so different from Gary Condit when it comes to our own behavior. We're all really fast to be judgmental about what a creep Condit is in terms of what he told Connie about his relationship with Chandra, but we're all real accepting when we use the same defenses and justifications Gary did when we're talking about our own behavior.
Then it's something else all together. Then we, too, give short answers, evade digging deep, put the responsibility elsewhere, frame all in a way that best protects us, become our own lawyers itemizing everything we've done to show just how pure we are, are shocked that anyone could even think to question our motives, attack any who do, see nothing in any way at all wrong with what we did here and there, how we dealt with this one and that one.
No, most of us don't have tawdry affairs, most of us don't have a connection to a missing person case. But all of us are involved in millions of behaviors a year, of which at least a few might not be what God and Judaism expects of us, and all of us interact with thousands of people a year, not always in the way God and Judaism expect us to.
Which is why Gary Condit did us such a favor by holding up a mirror for us, by showing how we too often too much act in regard to our own actions, with issues involving our own lives, in terms of how we see our interactions with other people.
Ask anyone you know about something sensitive to them, about something they're not proud of, about someone they didn't deal with so honorably, and see if their answers to you about themselves are all that different than Gary's were to Connie.
Then do the same with yourself, with things during the last year that you did that weren't so nice, and see how different your answers are than Gary's were.
When it comes to ourselves, most of us most of the time are pretty much like Gary was. Only difference is that he did it with Connie Chung and a nationwide TV audience and we do it with God. Which means his doing it affects his standing in the polls and how he'll do in the next election, our doing it affects our standing in the Book of Life and how we'll do in the next year. Public opinion, God's opinion.
Gary Condit finally spoke up because he felt surrounded by reporters and cameras, by the clamor of the public, by all the interest in the Chandra Levy saga and his role in it. And yet, despite all the time he had to think about it and prepare for it, despite all the attention on him, despite the high stakes, despite all those looking and listening and judging, all the intense focus, still he acted as he did. Close-mouthed, self-pitying, oblivious to the truth, uncaring about the feelings of others, unwilling to examine his depths, reveal his soul. He, in a word, blew it, showed his true colors by refusing to be in touch with what he had done, with himself.
Talk about a missed opportunity.
And talk we all have since the Connie interview, all of us on our high horses, tut-tutting at how lame and pathetic and in denial and superficial Gary is.
Well, talk is cheap, criticizing how others do teshuvah is easy.
Doing the right thing in the right way, that's not so easy. And our time is now. Now's our chance. Now, Jewish tradition teaches us, is when "the King is in the field." Meaning the presence of God is even more present, can be more felt all around us, with us. Especially intensely listening to our every word, looking to see how well we ask and answer questions about our behavior of the past year, how willing we are to admit our sins, take responsibility for our actions, express true feelings of repentance, apologize to those whom we should be apologizing to, right wrongs, pledge to do in the future what we should have done in the past or not do in the future what we've done in the past.
Rosh Hashana is Jewish prime time live and the unblinking camera eye that sees all is aimed right at us, at each one of us. The only question is what we'll do, how we'll do.
Which is why we need to give a big thanks to Gary Condit. For there is not a rabbi around who could have been a better teacher about what not to do.
Aaron is editor/publisher of the Chicago Jewish News.
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