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July 20, 2001/Tamuz 29, 5761, Vol. 53, No.41
Parents provide inspiration
MARTY LATZ
Special to Jewish News
My parents celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary on Aug. 6. During those 40 years, they've accomplished incredible things. Together, they've raised four children and helped all of us through graduate school and through life's inevitable challenges.
My dad spent 50 years lending his advice, support and leadership skills to those in need. He served in public office and later led many community organizations.
My mom has made equally important contributions, mostly by directly impacting individual lives, but also at the policy level for community organizations.
In short, while I'm biased, they've built a successful marriage, family and life together. When asked, here's what they said about the elements underlying their relationship and community success.
Love for each other. My parents described an emotional commitment to each other that has grown and deepened over the years. It goes well beyond the physical dynamic and encompasses a deep understanding of each other's fundamental needs - personal, emotional, professional and intellectual. Key, they said, was a continual focus on growing their relationship and making sufficient time for each other despite competing demands.
Respect for each other. Both my parents are strong individuals and leaders. Critical to their success, they said, was giving each other sufficient respect and freedom to express their individuality within the confines of their marriage, their family and their professional and community interests.
For instance, my mom traveled around Minnesota for Walter Mondale when he first ran for the U.S. Senate. My dad fully supported her and took over some of the household duties during this time.
Likewise, my dad spent years in elective office, and my mom rang thousands of doorbells campaigning for him. While she enjoyed this, she would never have done it if she had not respected him and what he was trying to accomplish.
My parents also described their compatibility of interests and ability to effectively address their differences of opinion.
Mutual support and growth. My dad described this element as the willingness to adapt and grow with each other and to try to perform various roles for each other when needed. For instance, my mom went through a difficult time as an only child when her dad, my grandfather, had Alzheimer's and was in his last few years of life. My dad recognized this and tried to fulfill a new role for my mom during this time.
A shared commitment to be supportive of the other in their community endeavors. My parents strongly believe everyone has a moral obligation to give to the community. Each has done this and has served as a role model for others, including their family, be it in contributing time, effort, intellect, leadership or financial support.
Fundamentally, my parents also said they've always had an ability to effectively communicate with each other. Without this, they could never have accomplished what they have - or built a successful life together for 40 years.
Mazel tov!
Marty Latz is a Phoenix attorney and negotiation trainer and consultant. He can be reached at 602-870-9301 or at Latz@NegotiationInstitute.com. His column appears monthly.
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