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May 25, 2001/Sivan 3, 5761, Vol. 53, No.34
Bikkur cholimValley synagogues reach out to ill members
TAMI BICKLEY
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 Sharona Silverman heads the Shalom Center, an organization at Temple Chai that promotes healing and educational programs. Photo by Tegwin Winterhalt |
The event, (Genesis:18), is the first of a number of times bikkur cholim (visiting the sick) is mentioned in the Torah, according to Rabbi Mendy Deitsch of Chabad of the East Valley.
Within the past decade, spiritual leaders and lay people have been working to improve the way the millennia-old ritual of bikkur cholim is conducted in their own communities, including here in the Valley.
In the past - particularly before the last decade - there were times when ailing Jews who requested bedside visits by Jewish clergy were lucky to find a rabbi to visit. Often, they would have to settle for non-Jewish clergy or a hospital chaplain because the demand far outweighed the number of rabbis available.
Today, demand for rabbinical visits to the sick still outnumbers rabbis on hand. Congregations are dealing with the shortage by encouraging their members to make hospital and house calls, which they say not only comfort the sick, but also bond the Jewish community. Some congregations have established committees or groups that meet for training and discussions about bikkur cholim, and decide how to generate interest in it among Valley Jews.
Beth Emeth Congregation of the Northwest Valley in Sun City West has a Sunshine Club whose approximately 18 members visit congregants who are homebound or in nursing homes, explains Rabbi Alan Bright. They also occasionally visit congregants and nonmembers at local hospitals.
Members of the 7-year-old club were trained to make such visits by the synagogue's former rabbi, Seymour Moskowitz. Bright says he, too, visits his congregants at least once while they're in the hospital.
What transpires during such visits "all depends on the (visited) person's demeanor," says Bright. "The whole idea is to put the person's mind at rest and help them achieve positive thinking so they can get better. Some people just like to hear straightforward factual things, while others want to joke around. And some just want to hold my hand. It's a case of play-it-by-ear."
Bright and the club members usually recite prayers with the people they visit, including a prayer for well-being. They have even chanted prayers to the sick over the phone if for some reason they could not be at the bedside, says Bright.
Bright and club members may bring wine and challah for Shabbat visits and blow the shofar at High Holiday visits.
"Because most people won't travel during (certain Jewish holidays), we come to visit (the sick) before the holiday," he says. "It's a tough time and people get depressed, so we try to cheer them up."
Members of the Temple Chai Bikkur Cholim Caring Committee reach out to those who are temporarily or terminally ill by bringing items representative of Shabbat and holidays, such as challah and candles, in addition to books and music.
The committee, which began in 1996 but has been doing caring work for more than a decade, is one facet of the temple's Shalom Center, which promotes healing and educational programs. The caring committee has trained more than 100 congregants and holds training sessions at least twice a year, says Sharona Silverman, director of the center.
Mini-training sessions are also held for members of the temple youth group and chavurah study groups, to "bring bikkur cholim to the entire congregation," says Silverman, even if these people are not on the caring committee and do not go to hospitals or people's homes. The training helps to teach the importance of this mitzvah, Silverman points out.
Members of the caring committee meet for lectures, updates, renewal and support. The training includes discussions with psychologists who teach communications skills so that committee members can better understand the individual needs of those they visit.
Overall, Silverman says, "The feedback has been incredibly positive. It's been an incredibly uplifting experience for the members of the caring committee."
Chai's rabbis, William Berk and Lisa Tzur, also visit the sick, but with a 900-family congregation, the committee's work has helped tremendously, Silverman says. "The clergy appreciate it because they feel as though they have the assistance of congregants."
At Temple Emanuel of Tempe, volunteer involvement is viewed as essential in its ability to ease the load for Rabbi Andrew Straus and as an outreach to Jews. Last year the temple began a healing service that includes meditation, music, prayer and "creative ritual," explains Straus. The service, designed for people who are sick, their loved ones, or those caring for the sick, is led by members of a caring committee that started two years ago.
The service allows "those who are ill to come together in a community of prayer and healing," says Straus. "It's the reaffirmation of what the ancients knew and what we have discovered," he adds, referring to the healing powers of prayer and spiritual bonding.
Although Straus himself visits congregants in the hospital and occasionally at home, he says two things make it difficult to attend to the needs of every ailing Jew in the congregation.
For one thing, rabbis do not always know when a congregant is sick.
"The hospitals do not just call rabbis. The only way we know if someone is there is if that individual (or family member) calls us," he says.
Further, Emanuel has not yet been able to organize training for its members to make hospital visits to ill congregants.
"It's very difficult to get people to do (bikkur cholim)," notes Straus. "It's partly because people are so busy. People very much so want to do it, and they know rationally, emotionally and spiritually that they should. ... But they then have to confront their own mortality, and (some) people don't want to do that. I find it difficult to recruit people."
If Straus is challenged finding volunteers to visit his own congregants, it's the unaffiliated who unequivocally suffer the brunt of the scarcity of rabbinic support when they fall ill.
"One of the frustrations is the calls we (rabbis) often get from a hospice (or hospital) calling on behalf of someone living in the community for 20 years, and now that they're ill, they want the support of the community," says Straus.
Because rabbis and laypeople must accommodate their congregants first, Straus suggests people become affiliated and active in the community if they think they may want rabbinic support at some time in their lives.
"It's a great mitzvah and people will appreciate it," says Deitsch to those who are considering volunteering for bikkur cholim. Deitsch makes hospital and nursing home visits at least twice monthly, he says. The synagogue has established a program with St. Luke's Hospitals in Tempe and Mesa in which the hospitals or their chaplains contact Chabad when a Jew - Chabad member or not - asks to see a rabbi.
The synagogue does not have an organized group of visitors, Deitsch says, but members and others in the community volunteer to participate as needed. Chabad provides volunteers with prayer pamphlets in English and Hebrew, including the Shema.
"We bring them challah if it's close to Shabbat," he says. "And we always bring a little prayer or get-well poem. A hospital is not a place anyone wants to spend time, and we want to cheer (the patients) up."
Deitsch "makes the rounds" at local hospitals before every Jewish holiday and encourages community volunteers to go as well. "I want (the sick) to know that there are Jews thinking about them," he says.
When Chabad learns of a Jew who is seriously ill, its sisterhood may send a gift basket of soap, perfume and potpourri.
"It's incredible how much it helps," Deitsch says of the visits and gifts. "The Talmud says when we're visiting the sick, we are helping them in their recovery."
In addition to bedside visits, synagogues incorporate prayers for the ill in weekday and Shabbat services. Deitsch and Chabad volunteers ask those who are ill if they want to be mentioned during the section of the worship service when the Torah is read in a special prayer, mi sheberach (prayer for the sick).
The rabbis at Temple Chai read an ongoing list of ill congregants weekly during the mi sheberach prayer.
Temple Chai members currently are crafting a mi sheberach tapestry, sewing together squares of fabric stitched by congregants to show what healing means to them. Each square conveys thoughts for someone who is sick, or words or symbols in a deceased person's memory. The first square - completed by Chai member Kathy Hoffman - will be presented June 8 at a temple ceremony. The finished tapestry will be incorporated into special-occasion ceremonies, says Silverman.
The Chai tapestry and similar projects are springboards for healing work throughout the Valley, say spiritual leaders.
"I would like to see people in the community (become more involved in bikkur cholim), notes Bright. "The non-Jewish community is much more organized and they have full-time chaplains who can take care of people. ... Chaplains are wonderful, but it's much more comforting to hear words from your own people.
Jews "should spare a few moments," Bright says. "Stop at a hospital on your way home and find out who the Jewish patients are and spend a few moments with someone. It will make such a difference."