|
|
December 15, 2000/Kislev 18, 5761, Vol. 53, No.12
Open the door to inmarriage
VICKI CABOT
Contributing Editor
The recently released American Jewish Committee survey on intermarriage tells us nothing we didn't already know. It corroborates that marriages between Jews and non-Jews are on the rise - and that resistance to such matches is waning.
The results show a concomitant openness to reach out to intermarried couples, welcoming them into our families and communities. Results also show an increasing desire for rabbis to officiate at wedding ceremonies for mixed couples, including those in which gentile clergymen also are involved.
While the findings, part of AJC's annual American Jewish community opinion survey, which canvassed some 1,000 self-identified respondents by telephone in mid-September, are not surprising, they are troubling. They clearly reflect the reality of contemporary Jewish America.
Eighty percent of those surveyed agree with the statement, "Intermarriage is inevitable in an open society." A similar percentage agrees that the Jewish community has an "obligation" to reach out to the intermarried.
And yet, for those of us concerned with Jewish continuity, who value Jewish family and communal life and see marriage to a Jewish partner as an important, if not essential, element in achieving that, the results convey a worrisome acquiescence. The if-we-can't-beat-em-let's-join-'em mentality undercuts the historic imperative that Jews marry Jews - which many credit as a vital reason for Jewish survival - and undermines the innate benefit in choosing a partner of similar religious belief and creating a home reflective of shared heritage.
True, it is the openness of American society that has made this country so good for the Jews. Never in our history have we had such freedom and opportunity, such acceptance and approbation. But to suggest that the very openness that allows us to live as Jews is license to give up our unique identity because intermarriage is "inevitable," is faulty at its core.
And to encourage our rabbis to officiate at traditional Jewish ceremonies for interfaith couples, where Jew and non-Jew would agree to live according to the laws of Moses and Israel, is hypocrisy. Yes, we must find ways to welcome non-Jews and to encourage their participation in Jewish life. But must we afford them Jewish ceremonies that compromise our values and compel them to begin their lives together based on a false premise?
Absolutely not.
Also distressing is that half of survey respondents agreed with the statement, "It is racist to oppose Jewish-gentile marriage," presumably drawing on liberal Jewish sensibilities to rationalize the desire to marry a non-Jewish partner. Using "racism," a word suffused with images of Nazi annihilation, to describe a proclivity for inmarriage is truly offensive.
What's needed, as AJC's survey results show, are intensified efforts to rediscover the beauty of Jewish life and to find ways to entice today's savvy Jewish singles to discover it for themselves
Giving up on our mission of preserving our heritage is giving in to fate, undermining the weight of our tradition and the value of our faith.
|
