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August 25, 2000/24 Av 5760, Vol. 52, No.50
Room for every Jew
Congregations aim to be welcoming, compassionate
VICKI CABOT
Contributing Editor
Eight-month-old Daniel accompanied his parents, Lisa and Daniel Subarsky, on a visit to Temple Chai's open house.
Photo by Mark Gluckman |
Rabbi Ayla Grafstein has a Rosh Hashana dream: A big tent filled to overflowing with High Holiday worshipers. Room for every Jew who wants to be there. No pesky membership requirements, no onerous dues structure.
And while Grafstein, spiritual leader of Ruach Hamidbar, Spirit of the Desert, strives to accommodate all those who need a place to pray for the holidays, she is cognizant of congregational realities and Jewish communal responsibilities.
"I'm just a visionary," she says with a sigh, letting go of the intriguing image of synagogue as revival tent.
Yet it is just that image that has captured the imagination of a group of rabbis and communal professionals eager to reinvest synagogue life with renewed vigor and relevance. Spearheaded by Rabbi Lawrence Hoffman of Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York and Dr. Ron Wolfson of the University of Judaism in Los Angeles, Synagogue 2000 is seeking to connect Jews with congregational life in newly meaningful ways.
The project focuses not only on creating new rituals and developing innovative programs, but on reframing the ways congregations do business. "Welcoming New Members, A Sacred Task for Our Synagogues," a study released last spring, looks at how congregations attract and welcome new members, and how dues structures and procedures impact the process.
"We want our synagogues (to be) goodly and welcoming," writes Gary Cohn in the study's introduction, playing on the Shabbat morning liturgy that includes the "Ma Tovu," exalting the goodness of Jacob's tents. "However many in our community think that the welcoming mat is not there for them."
Cohn, on sabbatical from his duties as executive director of Congregation Emanu-El in San Francisco, canvassed 125 congregations for the study. His report suggests that many congregations ought to evaluate their membership procedures and reassess their financial requirements if they want to become more welcoming to new members.
As the Jewish New Year approaches and many unaffiliated Jews wonder where they will spend the holidays, these findings bear particular relevance. Locally, the steady influx of Jewish newcomers makes the issue that much more pressing.
"I need a place to go," says one single woman who recently relocated to the Valley. Divorced, with three grown children, she moved here to be near her married daughter. Last year she went "home" to the Midwest, to the familiarity of her old congregation for the High Holidays. This year, she is searching for a place here.
Synagogue directors are inundated with calls in August and September, from people looking for seats for the holidays, Hebrew school and youth group programs for their children, adult education programs and social opportunities for themselves.
Bobbi King, who is relocating to the Valley from the state of Washington this fall, is most concerned with finding Jewish connections for her two preteen children. The Kings are the only Jewish family in Omak, where they now live. They were attracted to the Valley because of the size of the Jewish community and opportunities for a fuller Jewish life.
"I am looking to link my children with a temple so that they can meet other kids who are Jewish," says King.
Other shul shoppers already belong to Valley congregations but have decided to make a change. Maury and Julie Kessler spent six months looking for a new congregation once they agreed that their former congregation did not meet their needs. They attended Friday night services and looked into education programs and dues requirements. Location was also a factor.
Last month, they joined Temple Chai. "It just felt haimish (welcoming)," says Maury Kessler.
He says Chai's rabbis and administrators were warm and welcoming, the process personal and caring.
"They wanted to get to know who we are," he says. "They spent as much time with us as we needed."
Such impressions make a difference, says Cohn. In his study, he looked at initial telephone contacts, mailed membership packets, lay and professional follow up, and integration of new members into the congregational family.
Cohn says that congregations must work to make prospective members feel welcome from their first telephone inquiry.
"The initial response should be, 'We're glad you called us. Let me get some information to direct you in the right way,' " he says.
Joni Cohen, membership director at Beth El Congregation, says her goal is to make new members feel comfortable. She often spends close to an hour on the telephone with callers, engaging in wide-ranging discussions guided by the caller's interests and concerns.
Listening is key, says Cohen.
King was most appreciative of Cohen's obvious interest and concern when she called Beth El.
"She was embracing," says King. "She talked specifically about the things I was interested in."
Marlyne Freedman, executive director at Temple Chai, says central to the personal approach is keeping in mind that the temple is a community.
"It's not about being a number," says Freedman, who spent time this past summer working with her staff revising procedures for greeting and orienting new and prospective members.
A membership application is one of the results of her efforts; another is updating the temple's program directory.
"We needed a different look, a change," she says.
Cohn says that marketing materials are critical in communicating a congregation's image. Most congregations provide membership packets for prospects.
"'Marketing' is not a bad word," he says. He suggests that printed materials must do a better job of telling prospective members about services, programs and philosophy.
"We can't assume that people understand what comes with membership," he says.
Often, prospective congregants welcome information about what the rabbi does, about denominational orientation, and specifics about life-cycle events. They also appreciate the opportunity to discuss fee requirements with a sensitive synagogue representative.
Stories circulate periodically about an uncaring, businesslike synagogue professional or overzealous volunteer. King reports a preliminary conversation with one local congregation when she was quizzed about how much she and her husband were planning to spend on a new home.
Another prospective member says her inquiry about High Holiday tickets was met with a curt referral to the congregation's dues schedule, which begins with a minimum $45,000 income level and $1,300 dues. When she said this was beyond her means, she was directed to file a dues adjustment form, which requires divulging detailed personal financial information.
"I was turned off by the experience," she says. "It was very cold."
Cohn suggests that the truly "Jewish" approach to synagogue membership is one that is "Torah-based" and compassionate. He believes that if people are asked, rather than required, to give, they will respond. His congregation has adopted a fair-share model, asking members to contribute 2 percent of their gross income.
He differentiates that from the more traditional model where there is a dues structure with a variety of categories - families, singles, seniors - devised essentially by projecting annual expenses and dividing by the number of members in the congregation.
"Most synagogues do it that way," says Cohn, "but that is not the way a faith community should operate."
Grafstein says she is intrigued with the fair-share model, but currently Ruach Hamidbar, like most Valley congregations, follows the more traditional structure.
However, says Grafstein, the intimate nature of the congregation and its small size make it easier to employ a personal approach.
Members come to feel responsible for the congregation, and those who can afford to give more, often do, she says.
"We never turn anyone away. We don't delve into finances. Our board gives scholarships in a non-intrusive way."
The underlying message, says Cohn, should be that "the synagogue belongs to every Jew."
Rabbi Zalman Levertov, who directs Chabad activities in the Valley and anticipates welcoming 1,300 worshipers during the High Holidays at Chabad's four locations, echoes Cohn's words. But he reminds that belonging also connotes responsibility.
"People have to take care of the synagogue, too," he says.
Rabbi Barton Lee, director of Hillel at Arizona State University, which sells tickets to community members for its campus High Holiday services, adds that communal responsibility is as much a mitzvah as praying in synagogue on the holidays.
Even the poorest individual is expected to contribute to the community, he says. "We have to be open and welcoming, and we need to be responsible."
Lee, who has been in the Valley for more than two decades, says he knows of no local rabbi who would not sit down with a potential member and find a way to make membership possible.
It is a refrain heard from each of the eight congregations contacted for this article.
Lee defends the need to ask for financial information but agrees that sometimes the process can be distasteful.
Referring to the tradition of Pe'ah, leaving the corners of the fields for the needy, and the story of Ruth and Naomi in the Book of Ruth, he comments that even they were uncomfortable going into the fields gathering what had been left behind.
He complains that the issue of "paying to pray" has been distorted in the community.
"There are people out there who have stories that are embarrassing, and we can always work on improving our graciousness and welcome," he says. "But a lot of people devalue community. They want what they want when they want it. I see no Jewish right to that."
Grafstein says she would rather "err on the other side" and let anyone who wants to, come in. "How can you judge somebody on the scale of merit? Who knows the truth?" she asks.
She maintains that there is a yearning for the Jewish soul to connect, and we must, as a people, provide the means, especially at this time of the year, when many Jews feel the greatest need to be a part of the community.
"Congregations should designate space for those who can't pay," she says.
Jews such as the Chicago woman who says the approaching holidays make her want to "get back to what's important" should be made to feel welcome and valued in our congregations.
"We all need to find ways to draw people in," says Grafstein.
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